Showing posts with label They Call Me The Phantom Tollbooth Pusher. Show all posts
Showing posts with label They Call Me The Phantom Tollbooth Pusher. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Expectations

"Expectations is the place you must always go to before you get to where you're going. Of course, some people never go beyond Expectations, but my job is to hurry them along whether they like it or not."
-The Whether Man, from Norton Juster's The Phantom Tollbooth
If Expectations really is a city (and as a rule I always believe everything Norton Juster tells me), then Sabres fans are advised to locate it on a map sometime before tomorrow's game in Philly. The postseason is an emotional time, and I find that the best way to keep things in perspective is to get a head start.

Here's the good news about Expectations, though: It can be anywhere you want it to be! Which makes it hard to plug into your GPS, but that's fine because you can never get lost on your way to a place whose location you decide on.

I've toyed around with this idea in the past, but I've always stopped short of saying what I really mean. No longer.

My expectations for the Sabres are low, and I'm proud of it!

Now, let me be clear: I am neither a pessimist nor a pushover. When I say that I don't expect the Sabres to win the Cup or even make it out of the first round this year, I don't mean to imply that I actively expect them not to do these things (where would be the fun in that?), just that I don't need them to happen before I'll feel like the whole thing hasn't been a total waste. I also reject any notion that my low standards somehow mean that I am weak, soft, or unambitious. While those assessments might be valid for low standards in practically any other area of life, I don't see the correlation when it comes to sports, mainly because the standard to which I hold my favorite team has absolutely no effect on anything other than my enjoyment of what is to come.

By day, when I'm not avoiding my blogging, I work in a school, so I understand that setting high expectations, whether behavioral or academic, is the first step toward success in those areas. But the necessary second step (AKA the hard part) is consistently enforcing those high expectations. As a sports fan, taking the first step is easy enough, but since the second will always be beyond our reach, why bother? We can ban all the orange, not wash all the jerseys, grow all the beards we want, but at the end of the day, we will never be able to trade or bench a player, score a goal or block a shot. So I ask: Why set our expectations high when we have no control over whether or not they are met?

Let me put it another way. If I say, "I will not be satisfied with this blog post until it is at least six paragraphs long, posted by 9:00pm, and somewhat not confusing," I am setting a goal, and thus motivating myself to reach that goal, and not settle for anything less. But if I say "I will not be satisfied with this Sabres season until they beat the Flyers," all I'm doing is making it more likely that I walk away unhappy.

The way I see it, we shouldn't be afraid to keep our expectations low for the same reason we shouldn't be afraid to let our hopes soar high. What have we got to lose?

Of course, this is easier said than done. If the hard part of maintaining high expectations is resisting the temptation to lower them when things get hard, then the hard part of maintaining low expectations is resisting the temptation to raise them when things get good. Here's hoping the Sabres tempt me plenty, but that I manage to remember that, at least by my count, the Whether Man already hurried the Sabres along out of Expectations some weeks ago.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

The Doldrums

Man, it's been dull around here lately. Thank goodness for those adorable Globetrotters, or there wouldn't have been anything of substance in this blog for over three weeks. (One might argue that a post about the Amazing Race is hardly relevant to a hockey blog, but hey. If it's relevant substance you're after... you're probably in the wrong place.)

It's not that I haven't been trying, honest, I just haven't felt inspired in the least. Over the past couple of weeks I've tried to write about five different blog posts, but they only ever amounted to about six sentences before they were abandoned. At first I chalked it up to me, once again, not being able to watch the games. For one reason or another (geez, I don't even feel like blogging about excuses anymore--what's come over me?), I was hockeyless until last weekend. The good news is that all the right stars aligned and I finally got to watch two full hockey games. The bad news is that they were those two particular hockey games. Not exactly stellar blogworthy material. I have absolutely nothing to say about the "hockey" the Sabres "played" this weekend. (Nothing a few well-placed quotation marks can't say for me, in any case.)

And don't even get me started on the Adam Mair non-story. As sad as I would have been to see him go, I admit I was a little excited to finally have something worth writing about. But then yesterday noon came and went, and Mair's still where he's always been. Yawn. I'm sure I would have been more upset than most to see him play with another team, but what's the point in getting into all that now that he's not even going to Portland, let alone another NHL franchise? (Ironically, in the fond letter of farewell I had planned, I was going to curse myself for taking Mair for granted too much. But now that nothing's changed I don't see a reason to stop. Sorry, Mairsy. I'm very glad no one else wants you.)

Clearly I'm stuck in the Doldrums, but I don't think I'm the only one. The Sabres seem to be spinning their wheels right there beside me, and if I have any hopes of saving this blog I'm going to need a little help from them. If the only way to find my way out of the Doldrums is to start thinking, I'm going to need them to give me something worth thinking about.

Unfortunately, the Sabres are playing Edmonton tonight, who are pretty much the most doldrummy team I can think of. I can't be bothered to go look up their record, but I'm sure it's nothing good. Plus, they're in the Western Conference, so we can't be expected to care, right? Looks like I'm just going to have to be covered in Lethargians for the rest of my life.