Sigh.

Well, if that 10-1 win over Atlanta was indeed a springboard, I want to know who's smart idea it was to put the springboard next to a cliff. Seriously, Sabres, the Leafs? The Leafs?! They're, like, the one team in the Conference who's more effed up than we are. Who are you going to lose to next? The Coyotes? (Please, please, please, don't answer that.) I can't talk about this game, obviously, but I really feel like blogging today, so let's move on to something else.

Brian Campbell. Panic has been widespread ever since Soupy announced he was cutting off contract negotiations with the Sabres until the end of the season. We've got some serious PTSD issues in this city, not like that's anything new, and they're showing early this year, as the flip-outs have started before anyone's actually gone anywhere. Personally, the argument that Soupy's worth top dollar, because that's what the Red Wings are paying Rafalski, or that's what the Leafs are paying McCabe, does little to sway me. (Seriously, let's emulate Toronto's business decisions. That seems like a good idea.) My opinions about the player aside (suffice to say they've taken a dramatic nosedive in the last couple of months), it seems pretty clear to me that this contract isn't a question of market value, it's a question of budget. In respect to the rest of the league, is $6 mil too much for a defenseman of Soupy's caliber? No. In respect to the amount of money the Sabres have already tied up in other players, or will need to tie up in other players sometime in the near future, is it too much? In my opinion, yes. Contrary to popular belief, the cap isn't going to keep rising every season for the next ten years (if it does, we're in deep trouble), and even so, you can bet that B. Tom and co. aren't going to stretch the Sabres' individual budget much more. So there's a reckoning going on in the Sabres front office right now. Who do we keep? Of course Ryan Miller is the name that comes up first and most often when this discussion gets started, but there's another name that I think, while maybe not as important, deserves mentioning.

Jason Pominville. The great number of #29 jerseys I saw at the Ice Bowl (most of them, shockingly, on men) would suggest otherwise, but I think Pommerdoodle sometimes gets taken for granted by fans. He certainly took a verbal bashing this summer, when everyone was convinced that without Briere he would turn into a pile of puke. On a roster full of expensive disappointments (Vanek) and perpetually injured let-downs (Connolly), Pommers hasn't been getting a lot of credit for quietly and consistently meeting expectations. It may or may not shock you to learn that he currently leads the team in points. I know it surprised me. Sure, the population of Pominville seems to have suffered some crazy murder/suicide rates (But, really, can you blame them? Soupy might not re-sign! Who could live at a time like this?), but he's leading all forwards in assists, and is only two away from tying the overall leader, Campbell. Maybe he has suffered a little without Briere, but instead of turning into a pile of puke, he's adapted his game, and that's always a sign of a valuable player. Outside of his offensive stats, he's one of our best two-way forwards, I would say only behind Hecht, a quality which always goes undernoticed and undervalued. He's also somewhat of an Ironmanboy, as my mom would say. As far as I can tell, though I'm not the world's best researcher, he's only missed a total of 13 games due to injury in his whole pro hockey career, all in the AHL. Not bad for a kid who's only 6'0" and 186 lbs. Add on top of everything the fact that Lindy clearly respects and appreciates him, and that he's found a linemate with whom he shares great chemistry (Yo-Yo + Pommers = BFFLTDDUP!), and you've got yourself a player definitely worth keeping around. Now, is he a player worth breaking your bank on? Maybe not, but he's certainly not a player who should be kicked aside so you can break your bank on a guy like Campbell. At least in my opinion.

How could you possibly kick that face aside? Poor puppy.

Maybe I've just been spending too much time listening to my mom, but I've had serious warm and fuzzy feelings about Pommer recently.

Good boy, Pommerdoodle! Now stop drooling on the ice.

While I'm here, I may as well mention this list of the ten worst suggestions someone could possibly make to the NHL. The whole thing is worth a click and a laugh, but here are two highlights:

10. One referee only. Admit it, it was more fun when these guys got away with murder ''behind the play''.

Yeah, the NHL is already the worst and least-consistently officiated pro sports league in the world, why not make a full joke out of it? Ugh.

4. European quotas. OK, guilty, report me to the Xenophobia Hotline. All I know is, other than prime European talent, North American crowds more easily identify with homeboys rather than the vast faceless talents from Russia, Finland, Sweden, et al. On a nightly roster of 18 skaters and two goalies, mandate that a total of 17 must be North American-born. Overall talent level will drop, but that only will open up the game. Bobby Orr and Bobby Hull skated around a lot of tomato cans, and it was great entertainment.

Worst idea in the history of ideas. Any Buffalo fan will tell you that less Max Afinogenov and more Andrew Peters is exactly what this league needs to inspire more interest. Not! Really, I can't even come up with words for how dumb this suggestion is. Out of curiosity, though, if this rule went into effect tomorrow, which three Europeans do you think the Sabres would keep? I'd say keep Vanek, Tallinder and Hecht, though they'd probably keep Vanek, Tallinder, and Afinogenov, or Vanek, Tallinder, and Spacek. (Sorry, Yo-Yo! That's why it's the worst idea in the history of ideas!)

12 to Remember: Buffalo @ Toronto 2/27/07

Whoa, Kevin’s sweaters are switching it up tonight, all crowding over to one side of the screen. I think it’s because they’re so excited to see me again. Aw! I missed you guys, too!

Kevin launches into the epic tale of how everyone and their grandmother was either injured or traded or absent or brain-scrambled for this game, so the Sabres had to make about a million call-ups from Rochester, and were still a man short. He tells us the cover-up lie about Briere leaving after warm up with the flu, but I’m going to agree with Heather and say Danny most definitely left because he was heartbroken about the absence of his beloved roommate, Marty Biron. To illustrate just how screwed up the roster was, the intro graphic features Clarke MacArthur front and center, with Pat Kaleta right behind him. Also featured is Jochen Hecht, looking damn fine with that A on his chest.

First Period

18:25 There’s some sort of strange tag-team move where Soupy takes Battaglia down behind the net, and Mair piles on top of him for good measure. Despite the blatant pushing, shoving, and squashing, Campbell goes to the box for hooking.

16:47 Pommer and Roy head in shorthanded, and Derek, as is his nature, ends up sitting on the ice. He still makes a pretty good pass through the crease, though. Hey, I guess if you’re going to fall down (or get taken down) as much as he does, you should at least know what you’re doing once you’re down there. By the way, aside from this moment this penalty kill has been brought to you by suck. (Actually it’s been brought to you by Napa Auto Parts, so don’t ever buy anything from there. It probably sucks.)

16:23 Just as that penalty expires, Vanek goes after Colaiacovo like he’s a particularly delicious baby he wants to kill. Here comes some more Napa-sponsored suck!

15:22 RJ gets inordinately excited about a shorthanded two-on-one that comes to naught when Pommer can’t get it to Tallinder. It takes me a second to get over my shock at the fact that so many Sabres are injured and Hank isn't one of them. This is a joyous occasion.

14:24 Miller, falling, just manages to get his glove up in time to block a shot from Steen in the last second of the penalty. Okay, this penalty kill was a considerable improvement (Miller wasn’t doing ALL the work), but can we please get some shots now?

13:33 After Peters and Gill get shovey along the boards, the players form what looks like a hug train in order to spread calm and peace and the message of love. Aw.

12:46 Lydman saves Millers ass as he blocks a point-blank shot from Sundin in front of a wide-open net. And everyone thought it was only Drury who did that! (Seriously, guys, can we take a shot on net please? At this point I’m not entirely sure Raycroft is down there, that’s how little I’ve seen of him.)

12:17 Vanek obliges, taking a drop pass from MacArthur and getting a nice shot from just outside the circle. He continues to work for the puck in front of the net, and gets a couple more chances before drawing a penalty. It’s after plays like that that I feel really confident about that humongo contract.

10:22 Stafford goes to the box for getting punched in the head. Or as they call it in Toronto, “interference.” Seriously, it’s a ridiculous call, but that Buffalo power play was clearly going nowhere, so I’m not going to get too upset about it.

9:19 This time it’s Tallinder who takes excellent care of his out-of-position goaltender by intercepting a pass at the side of the net. Okay, Buffalo, I get it. You’re playing good defense. Can we please try some offense now?

7:37 It’s so quiet in the ACC that you can hear one, lone guy yelling “Go Leafs Go.” Gotta love those passionate Canadian home crowds.

6:20 Lydman gets a good shot from between the circles (it seems the defense has to do everything around here), and Roy manages to connect on the rebound, despite being airmailed to the ice by some Leaf. RJ informs us that Lindy is “about to have kittens” about the non-call. Hmm, what sort of shower gift does one buy for an NHL coach expecting kittens?

5:53 Well, I don’t know what I’d get him, but Pominville apparently got him a goal! MacArthur nearly scores on a neat backhand, and Pommer is there to bang in the rebound. Perhaps aware of how enraged and murderous Thomas Vanek gets about new births in Pominville, RJ refrains from announcing that the population has increased.

5:05 Pommer, all excited and wriggly over his recent success, tries to clear the puck in front, but ends up both fanning and falling. Aw, Lindy, who needs kittens when you’ve got this?

3:13 After a great shift by his line on the power play (I know!), Staffy tries to muscle the puck out from under McCabe, who is down on the ice, but ends up getting the entire Leafs team on his back instead. Roy tries to pull some of them off, but of course, since he barely comes up to their shoulders, it’s pretty ineffective.

2:35 You know, I was just wondering where Hecht was in this game! He fancy-skates himself over the line and through some defenders to shoot from the slot. It deflects wide, but that was still a pretty neat play. Alternate captain Yo-Yo is in the house!

0:00 Well, period one has been somewhat underwhelming. I suppose I can cut them some slack, though, what with the absences and the short bench and whatnot. Plus, my from-the-future powers tell me there’s much more to come.

Second Period

20:00 Jim starts off the period by talking about Marty and what a sad atmosphere his departure created with the team. I think this is the part where Briere, watching the game from his hotel room, picks up the phone and leaves his 403^rd voicemail comprised entirely of unintelligible sobbing. (And yes, I am making jokes to avoid having to relive the pain of losing Marty. What of it? At least I’m not soothing my heartache by whoring myself out to Philly. Unlike someone I know.)

18:59 Miller leaves his net. Disaster ensues. The only thing surprising about that situation is that Hank was the one who lost the puck, which is what forced Miller to have to dive across his crease like he was sliding into home. Okay, unusually sloppy for Hank, but still: What the hell were you doing all the way over in the corner, Ryan?

18:38 Roy is completely mugged, once again with no call. RJ doesn’t mention it, but I can only imagine that over on the Buffalo bench, the kittens are flowing like wine.

17:21 Someone taps the puck back to the point off of the faceoff, and RJ tells us it is “Vanek or Peters.” Wow. God knows I’m terrible at reading numbers, and that wasn’t exactly a play that required much skill, so I’m not trying to make fun of RJ’s commentating, here. I just think I would be remiss in my duties as a recapper if I let the one moment in all of history when Peters was mistaken for Vanek pass by without proper documentation.

15:50 Hecht makes a gorgeous pass through the goal crease, but Ryan can’t connect on it. I suspect it’s because he had to take that extra second to check and make sure it was Toronto's net he was shooting on this time. It’s okay, Mike. Take your time.

15:43 Hank gets credit for “flattening” Ponikarovsky, when all he really did was sort of lean on him until they both collapsed. It’s like someone was trying to build a house of cards using hockey players, but couldn’t get the first two to stand up properly. It’s… weird.

15:05 Stafford sticks with the puck through some pretty crazy twists and turns, and scores on a wraparound. The replay shows Yo-Yo, past the end of his shift, made the breakout pass here, albeit a really horrible one. It looks like it’s flying at an altitude of about Staffy’s knees, but he just waves his stick over it like some sort of Puck Whisperer and it immediately calms down to do his bidding. Jim and RJ start freaking out about how much they can’t wait for Drew to be a for-rizzle Sabre next season. You and me both, boys.

12:42 After collecting a shot and sending it up ice, Paetsch is run over by Belak outside the range of the camera. According to RJ, Mair then steps up to lay a little revenge on Belak. MSG, why am I not seeing this? (Instead, I get to see Kaleta completely flip a guy over in the corner, which, admittedly, is cool.)

12:22 As we head to commercial, Mair is chomping his mouth guard on the bench, and it turns out my eyes (and Google video’s pixels) weren’t deceiving me last game: He most definitely has a black eye. And it is wicked. (Reports of eyeliner are, as of yet, unconfirmed.)

11:12 The shot tally tells me that the Sabres only have two shots in this period, while the Leafs have nine. I feel like I’m being lied to.

11:00 After Sundin blocks one of his own team’s shots, Vanek roars in on a breakaway, only to shoot it wide of the net. And I wonder why the shot count seems so low.

8:46 The Leafs spend the better part of two minutes in the Buffalo zone, but don’t manage to get a single shot, or even do anything which requires RJ to say more than “So-and-so has it along the boards/at he blue line/behind the net.” Judging by the way the fans choose this moment to start cheering “Go Leafs Go” with real vigor, I think we’ve finally found the target fanbase for the Buffalo-style power play.

8:01 Roy chops in the rebound from a shot by Kalinin. In celebration, MSG shows all three Buffalo fans in the building, and, guys, one of them is wearing a fanny pack. Now, I feel like wearing a fanny pack into any hockey arena is asking for trouble, but into a visiting arena? Into the ACC? As a Sabres fan? I don’t even have a punchline for how dumb I think that is.

6:27 Gill steps into Ryan at the blue line. Hey, don’t bite the hand that feeds you, Toronto! (By the way, Tim Connolly, see how keeping your head up means you don’t get a concussion?)

4:33 Patches looks all kinds of clueless as he stands uselessly in front of the net while Toronto gets a couple of good chances. Finally he blocks a shot, seemingly by accident, and then instead of clearing the puck passes it to Peters. I mean on the one hand, Nathan doesn’t seem to be making a great case for cracking the top six, here, but on the other hand, maybe he just thought Peters was Vanek.

4:12 Sure, of all the players who could have scored, it had to be Ponikarovsky. Listen, Ponikarovsky, your name is fun to say, but way to intense to type. Don’t you have a snappy nickname or something I can use instead? How do you feel about Ponk? (By the way, the last three minutes of play wouldn’t have looked any different if the entire Toronto half of the ice had broken off and fallen into the Lake Ontario.)

1:33 Hey, look! The Sabres discover that not only is there more ice down there, there’s another net, too. And they can score on it! After some really neat, precise passing by Hecht’s line (hey, I like the sound of that!), Lydman lets a wrister go from the point, and Hecht, replay shows, deflects it in. The cute part is when Yo-Yo realizes he’s scored and begins to celebrate only to turn around and see everyone congratulating Toni instead. It’s like they’ve never heard of anything as preposterous as Hecht scoring a goal before. In the post-goal huddle, Toni and Yo-Yo engage in adorable “Did I score that, or did you?” antics, and even though Yo-Yo clearly knows the truth, he lets Toni go partake in the bench fist-bump anyway. Aw, how gentlemanly of him.

Third Period

20:00 Jim goes over the list of injured Leafs, and mentions that Darcy Tucker (Hey, he’s out! I was wondering why my eyes hadn’t felt like vomiting yet!) just signed a brand-new extension. Mike Peca, on the other hand, has let the media know how much it has always been his dream to play in Toronto in the year 2008, but only if they get him his extension by the end of the week. And he really means it this time. Not like last week.

18:13 Stafford, who according to RJ really wants to get to the bench, takes his sweet time skating over there, and all but attaches neon lights to his head reading “Pass me the puck, Patches!” Patches for his part does such a good job of ignoring him that he almost collides with him.

17:50 Kaleta flattens McCabe at the red line, and the crowd inexplicably erupts into cheers. I would say they’re yelling for some sort of penalty, but considering they were just booing McCabe a few seconds ago, it seems more likely that the Sabres’ strategy of wearing their home blue sweaters has tricked them into thinking they’re Buffalo fans. Score one for us!

15:54 Soupy knocks Stajan down in front of the net, and if there’s any sign of appreciation or outrage from the fans, it’s at catipillar-wearing-slippers-on-shag-carpet levels of audibility. Now it’s like the Sabres’ strategy of wearing their home blue sweaters has made the crowd forget that they were hockey fans in the first place. (The Slug has been known to have that effect.)

15:31 Vanek has his legs taken out from under him in the crease, as he’s about to score on a wide open net no less, and the ref takes a second to make sure that 26 isn’t a 9 before blowing his whistle.

14:37 Apparently Aubin has never heard of anything as preposterous as Hecht scoring a goal either, as he just assumes Yo-Yo is going to pass instead of shoot and leaves the entire short side of the net wide open. This time Hecht fires it in clean and gets the celebration huddle all to himself. By the way, Patches made a fantastic assist pass from the blue line, here.

14:30 RJ reminds us yet again that Briere is out with the flu, and that Hecht is filling in for him at center. Considering all of long-distance phone calls to Philadelphia Danny’s no doubt made by this point in the game, I think it’s more accurate to say he’s out with the Phlu.

12:40 Roy powers in on a breakaway, only to have the puck checked away from behind by Gill at the last second. I’d like to point out that Derek seems to trip a little on Gill’s stick, here, but resists taking a dive. It’s a small victory but I’ll take it.

12:24 And of course, Jim says Roy probably should have gone down and tried to draw a penalty. Stop confusing him!

10:00 Roy pulls some positively Afinogenov-esque moves as he steals the puck, spins, falls to his knees, gets up, loses control, spins again and passes to Vanek right in the goal mouth. Holy cow, that was awesome! But apparently not awesome enough for Vanek to score off of, as Aubin just manages to cover up.

9:52 Dude. Ty Conklin is hot.

9:13 The puck takes a crazy bounce up onto the top of the Sabres net, narrowly missing the open corner. Some Leaf seems to think it’s a good idea to attempt poking the puck off with his stick, before the ref reaches in and grabs it, explaining that God gave humans hands for a reason, and that reason is so that we don’t look like idiots trying to do everything with a hockey stick.

7:52 Staffy does a neat drag through a defender, but his backhand attempt is turned away. Still, it’s so impressive that the crowd thinks they’re Buffalo fans again and give him an appreciative “oooooOOOOOooooooh!”

6:40 Hecht’s line (which entails Pommer and Ryan) just did a fantastic job of working the zone in the past minute or so. Yo-Yo in particular had great puck possession and even set up one or two chances for his wingers. I think being a center with a letter suits him perfectly. (Hint, hint, wink, wink, Lindy.)

6:10 MacArthur takes a great pass from Mair, maneuvers past the out-of-play Aubin, and shovels the puck into the open net for his third point of the night. Man, I kind of wish the General could wear that Slug season-long. (And not just because I want an excuse to call him “the General” more often.)

4:15 RJ wants us to know that he’s not making it up when he says that Green passes to White. In a league where European names are butchered and giggled at on a regular basis, leave it to RJ to point out that, hey, white-bread names can sound ridiculous, too!

2:55 MacArthur draws two penalties in an interval of 20 seconds. It seems the General possesses both an enticingly elbowable head and irresistibly trippable ankles. He is a clear asset. (Also, is it just me, or have these teams been incredibly well-behaved tonight? The last penalty seems like it was about four months ago.)

1:00 Listen, Leafs, I know there’s only one minute left in the game, but I’m from the future, and I promise you: If you can just take this game to overtime you will make it to the playoffs. So get going on those five goals! Heh heh heh.

0:00 The game ends in the most anti-climactic of fashions, with the home fans booing robustly, and a pointless face-off after Aubin freezes the puck with just 5 seconds left. But at least it wasn’t a shootout! (And by the way, Leafs, in case you forgot, a shootout would have meant playoffs. Just saying.)

Okay, folks, I think that just about does it for me with these game diaries. I fully intended to go ahead and recap the next game, but I’m pretty burnt out. Especially since the next Game to Remember is against the Leafs again. I mean, there’s only so many times you can make the same “Hey, if only you managed not to surrender that substantial lead in the third period, you’d have been in the playoffs!” joke before it starts getting old. (For you, not for me. I could make those jokes all day long.) Also, real live hockey will be starting up in just over two weeks (!!!), and it will certainly take me longer than that to finish a game diary. I don’t want to live in the past. Anyway, I hope you all have enjoyed reading these as much as I’ve enjoyed writing them. They certainly did help this interminable summer pass.

12 to Remember: Buffalo vs. Toronto 11/22/06

Kevin, you’ve got to be kidding me. We’re more than halfway through the 12 to Remembers, and we’re still only in November? We aren’t even in 2007 yet? Did no one think to explain to the Sabres that the playoffs start in April, so maybe they should save some of their fabulous games for then? I kid. Sort of. Actually, this is fantastic! It means there’s less of a chance I’ll have to relive those unspectacular post-season wins MSG threatened to air. Please, please, please give us more regular season.

Anyway, I was about to say I don’t remember this game at all, but then I realized that I do! This, my friends, is the first game of the season I actually got to see on TV! Yay! It re-aired on MSG on Thanksgiving Day, and since I had flown into Buffalo late the night before, I glued myself to the TV and watched the repeat. My family was all, “Uh, isn’t Thanksgiving a football holiday?” but I countered them very rationally by screaming “I HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO WATCH HOCKEY ALL SEASON! LAY OFF ME!” (“TELL ME WHEN! TELL ME WHEN I CAN’T WATCH HOCKEY!”) Anywho, I remember enjoying this game immensely the first time around, although that could have just been the hockey withdrawal speaking. At the very least, I know this game doesn’t end in a shootout, so it could be worse.

First Period
20:00 Drew Stafford! Oh, I love this game already! This must have been the start of the period where Sabres were dropping like flies. Unfortunately, one of those flies isn’t named Drury, as Staffy’s been forced to play on his wing.
19:28 Staffy looks like he’s going to get the first chance of the night, when he’s fed the puck in front of the net, but he decides not to be a showboat and allows a Leaf defenseman to strip him of the puck. Always so humble and courteous, that Staffy.
18:55 Pommer heads to box after trying to chop off some guy’s ankles. And… what’s this? Paille is playing on Briere’s other wing? Yo-Yo is injured? Say it isn’t so!
17:52 Spacek hooks Kaberle at the blue line and goes to babysit Pommer. Good, maybe Jaro can get him to stop chewing the penalty box furniture. It’s not very sanitary. Or manly.
17:41 Well that didn’t take long at all. Tucker, parked all alone to the side of the net, rifles a shot over Miller’s left pad. Honestly, how can we have so much practice at killing penalties and still manage to suck at it? Pommer skates out of the box with his head down and his tail between his legs. I think Uncle Jaro is a firm believer in rolled up newspaper.
16:33 Miller does some uncharacteristic scrambling in the crease, and comes up with a couple of nice saves. Goose says, “Come on, Ryan. We all know the best professional goaltender you can be can do better than that!” Well, he doesn’t so much say it as scream it with his actions as he takes a hooking call and puts the Sabres down two men, again.
16:16 Wellwood slams home a deflection off the back boards. It’s now 2-0 and the Leafs are still on the power play. That's okay, let them get as many goals as they want, it’ll only make their fall that much sweeter. I can only hope, though, that Miller will never see this goal again. Crazy bounces off the back boards that end up going into the net can only bring up painful memories.
15:34 Drury makes a nice steal, but then tries to muscle his way through basically the entire Toronto line-up, just to get the puck checked away. Apparently the Leafs were not intimidated by his shouts of “Out of my way! Don’t you know who I am? Do I need to show you my Little League World Series ring?!”
15:26 Whoa. RJ just announced that Hecht, Roy, Lydman, and Hank are all injured, so it’s no wonder the penalty kill sucks so hard. Aw man, and I was so looking forward to picking on Roy by referring constantly to his new contract! Well, if he thinks he’ll be allowed to be injured once he’s earning a $4 million cap hit, he’s got another think coming. (Yeah, it’s not like you saw Tim Connolly miss any games after he signed his big deal!)
14:30 Briere collapses onto the face-off dot. I… have no idea what happened there. It looks like he thinks he can win the draw with his ass. Well, with Roy out I guess someone has to pick up the hilarious falling slack.
12:43 The Sabres finally get their first power play, as Suglobov takes Novotny down. Meanwhile, tensions have been running high. Briere grabbed Steen by the face earlier, and Mair now starts to mix it up with Gill in the corner. RJ surmises that the Sabres are surly because so far they’ve taken all the penalties and haven’t scored any of the goals. Yawn. Wake me up when the hockey starts. (I’m confident it won’t be for at least another two minutes.)
10:43 I wasn’t wrong. Apart from some pointless passing along the outside, and one or two soft or misaimed shots, the Sabres manage to effectively clear the puck into their own zone, all by themselves on more than one occasion. What, they can kill Toronto’s penalties, but not their own? On the “upside,” they managed to draw another penalty!
9:33 What do you know, it was an upside! Kotalik rips a shot from the point, which deflects off the post right to Max, who buries it. And we managed to draw another penalty in the process! My God, has there been any even strength hockey in this game?
8:47 Kotalik decides that he’s not quite ready to get another point in this game, and doesn’t shoot from his wide-open vantage point. Instead he tries pass the puck, apparently, to a Leaf’s helmet. Kotalik: “Man, that helmet was wide open! It had a great shooting angle, too!”
7:23 Right after penalty time runs out, Vanek makes a behind the net feed to Novotny in front, and RJ gets way more excited by the ensuing goal than I think is necessary. Of course, he doesn’t know the outcome of the game like I do. And also, it’s RJ. Unwarranted excitement is his specialty, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
5:03 Finally, we get something resembling hockey from the Sabres, as Briere’s line buzzes the Toronto zone, getting a couple of good chances. Lines, by the way, seem like a fluid construct in this game, as now Danny’s skating with Paille and Stafford. Between this and the Vanek-Gaustad-Novotny combo we saw earlier, it appears Lindy’s just shouting out the first names that pop into his head and sending them over the boards.
4:37 Patches is called for “illegally compensating for not playing defense well enough.” Or something. Zooming through the commercials, I catch a glimpse of a familiar face. A familiar, slagged face. Chris Drury, whoring it up in his new Rangers digs, is apparently now part of some sort of promotion for MSG. ARRRRRGH! Only the fact that people are trying to sleep upstairs is preventing me from re-enacting the “Where’s the fucking phone?!” scene from Wet Hot American Summer right now. Just when I think I’m finally okay with letting Drury go, I see him in a Rangers sweater, and lamps exist solely to be thrown. But I’m slightly comforted by the fact that he and fellow soul-seller Scott Gomez look positively dwarfish(er) standing next to some dude named Randolph holding up some sort of basketball jersey. (My knowledge of sports that aren’t hockey is so impressive, isn’t it?)
2:37 Hey! That was a pretty decent penalty-kill, Sabres! Particularly decent was one Rochester call-up, Mike Ryan. (Wait. Mike Ryan? This isn’t that game, is it? Oh, sweet deliciousness!)
0:02 After yet another Buffalo penalty (Mairsy dotes in the box), Ryan continues with the awesome steals and the shorthanded pressure and what-not, and sets Novotny up beautifully at the top of the circle. His shot beats Raycroft, only to get knocked away at the very last second. Typical Sabres. We kill our own power plays, but we get great scoring chances on Toronto’s.

Second Period
--Out of commercials, the disembodied voice of Kevin Sylvester informs us that there we will be jumping to later in the second-period action, “due to time constraints.”
19:38 What? Time constraints required MSG to cut all of 22 seconds? What kind of time constraints are these, exactly? Unless you’re swimming the 100-meter breaststroke, 22 seconds is never a necessary time to save.
18:03 No way! There was a point during the season when the Sabres scored not one, but two power play goals in one game?!? (Don’t ask me how we got on the power play, as apparently that time was deemed better spent on an extra-long eHarmony commercial. Or, as it is sometimes more affectionately known, “time constraints.”) Boy, but this goal is a beauty. Vanek executes a fantastic “no look-em behind the back-em” (thanks, RJ) right outside the crease, and Briere one-times the puck past a totally lost Raycroft. By the way, it looks like Briere is now the new Roy, playing between Max and Vanek. Hey Derek, think you can be the new Danny next season?
16:55 Soupy, after whiffing spectacularly on a puck outside the crease, somehow gets another chance at it, and scores five-hole. Whoa. For a second there the Leafs looked just like the Flyers. Aw, and RJ and Jim sweeten the deal by announcing that this goal marks Soupy’s 100th NHL point! On the bench, he is 100% smile, and I feel all warm and melty inside.
16:47 Someone gets called for diving and it’s not Roy! Or Briere! It’s a Leaf! This game is just full of surprises!
14:40 After some pretty wide-open 4-on-4 (because, yeah, coincidental minors are such a deterrent for diving), the Sabres allow the Leafs to get over-comfortable in their zone and Miller has to look sharp. He reads the long, pinpoint passes perfectly, and has no visible trouble covering up. As impressive as big saves are, I gotta say I love when Ryan manages to be awesome without really looking it.
13:52 Kilger heads to the box for “upsetting” Stafford. Are unibrow jokes illegal now?
13:27 At the blue line, Briere performs the absolute worst turnover I’ve seen since, well… May. Miller stays calm and stonewalls the breakaway, but not before Danny can get some completely unnecessary hooking action in.
12:22 Kubina, jealous of Soupy’s spinorama, trips him right in front of the net. It’s a penalty party, this game! Must be the Paradise Penalty Box daisies are in full bloom, or something. They’re, uh, November daisies.
10:26 Drury gets a nice shot from point-blank range, but Jim points out that if he were a left-handed shooter he would have been able to one-time the pass and get a better chance. Don’t bullshit me, Lorentz. Everyone knows Drury can do anything. He’s not going to let a silly little thing like shooting right get in the way of his superpowers!
6:26 Wow. Miller makes a spectacular save after being swept out of position by the player Paetsch just shoved to the ice. There are few things in this world I find more satisfying than a good glove save, and this one fairly screams, “Oh, no you don’t! Gotcha!” as Miller reaches back to snatch the puck from the goal mouth. Impossibly, Patches doesn’t go to the box.
5:47 Uh, oh. I think Kubina’s been making unibrow comments! Staffy straightens up like a brick wall and levels him down to the ice, nearly knocking off his helmet in the process. Even from a distance, that check makes his eyebrow look devastatingly sexy.
5:03 Mike Ryan (yes, it IS that game!) scores on his own net. He’s just trying to gather up a rebound and steer it to safety, but mishandles it, and it ends up going into the net. It’s a terribly unfortunate play, and Ryan’s reaction is nearly heartbreaking, but let me tell you why I can’t help but love this goal. Next to Ryan Miller, Mike Ryan is my sister’s favorite Sabre, and--aside from pointing out that they not only share the name “Ryan,” but were also, apparently, clobbered by the same Ugly Stick at birth--bringing up this goal is the surest-fire way to get her blood boiling. Whenever she so much as mentions Mike Ryan I look thoughtful and say, “Oh, isn’t he the guy who scored on his own wide-open net? And who was that who just sat by and let it all happen? Was that your other hockey boyfriend?” And then I just sit back and watch her invent new and exciting colors on her face. I just like to give her a hard time, though. Realistically, this goal is so not a big deal. Since we end up winning this game (spoiler!), it means next to nothing. I mean, it’s not like it was the game-winning goal in a Stanley Cup Final game, or anything! I mean, how embarrassing would that be, right?!
2:18 The Sabres are shorthanded once again, but they’re not letting it get them down. For instance, Soupy knows just because we’re down a man doesn't mean he can’t take unscreened shots right at the goalie’s chest protector. Just like he always does.
0:52 Max absolutely nails Wellwood in the corner. I could see this hit coming all the way, but I was still kind of incredulous about it. “Really? Max is going to get a big hit? If you say so…” Wellwood appears to have been thinking the same thing, and falls down out of shock.
0:00 Staffy gets hassled in the corner once again, and Goose steps in on his behalf, exchanging words and fight invitations at the horn. Pretty Boy Paulie, with his perfectly separate eyebrows, fears no insult.

Third Period
19:27 The refs call their one-millionth penalty. Darcy Tucker celebrates by throwing a temper tantrum on his way to the box.
17:27 Sabres special teams stage an interpretive dance of Waiting For Godot, spending the entire two minutes preparing for a power play that never shows up. I think they might be able to fix all their problems if they stopped letting Samuel Beckett sponsor them.
16:35 Peca Captain Crunches Stafford into the boards, and Staffy’s slow to get up, cradling his face. Unsurprisingly, Peca heads to the box for “eyebrow endangerment,” or “boarding,” or something. Incidentally, I’ve only just realized that Peca is playing in this game. What a difference-maker! A slowed-down replay of the scrum after the hit shows Drury getting his face absolutely manhandled by some disembodied Leaf glove, and my heart skips a beat, it’s so beautiful.
14:35 That power play involved, among less exciting things, Kotalik icing the puck, and Numminen giving up a short-handed two-on-one. Can we stop drawing penalties sometime soon, please?
13:13 In perhaps his first real contribution to the game since taking that tripping penalty way back in the second minute of the game, Pominville fans on the puck.
12:39 This is the part where Miller falls down inexplicably, Tucker scores his second of the night, and my eyes vomit vitreous humor all over the inside of my eyelids. It’s now tied at four. This is the also part where everyone hates Mike Ryan.
9:37 The Sabres gain possession in their own zone, but it takes about an hour for them to get it to center ice. Must be Toronto took one of their skaters off the ice to trick Buffalo into thinking they’re on the power play. Bold strategy, I think it might just work.
7:27 As we head to commercial, I finally see why Pommer has been such a non-factor in this game. He’s recently shorn! He’s lost his curl confidence! And, okay, this period has been largely uneventful. I keep waiting for the Sabres to kick it into the next gear, but they don’t even look like they have one at this point. (This feels familiar.) Still, I have a vague remembrance of the final score of this game, so that next gear has got to come along eventually, right? Right?
6:58 Vanek decides to actually earn a little bit of his inflated plus-minus, and strips Peca of the puck right in the goal crease. It’s a good thing he’s not mic’d up, because I’m almost positive he’s saying, “There, I did some effing backchecking. Can I go score now?” But no, he can’t.
5:18 But Briere can! I mean, if you’re into that sort of thing. The replay of this goal shows Raycroft was tripped up by his own defenseman, McCabe, and so Danny had effectively a wide-open net to score on. Dude. That’s almost as embarrassing as scoring on your own goal. And he doesn’t even have the excuse of being a rookie.
3:53 Toronto gets a quick shot right off the face-off, but Miller flicks out his right pad in time to save it. It’s a good thing he’s not “protecting” a shutout right now, or that definitely would have gone in.
2:31 Miller covers up on a dangerous, bouncing rebound. Paille is right there, but apparently Miller’s learned his lesson about letting under-experienced forwards handle his rebounds. At least for tonight. Paille seems to recognize this and taps him gratefully on the head as he skates by.
2:25 Miller makes another grand, sprawling save, but Spacek wants to give us one more penalty kill for the road, and hooks somebody. Come on, RJ, how many hooking penalties do we need before you break out the “This game has more hookers than a street corner in Las Vegas!” call? I just know it’s in there, trying to bust out.
1:36 Miller puts on a clinic on how to single-handedly save your team from their own festering penalty kill. Get used to it, Ryan.
1:08 Pommer emerges from oblivion to score an empty-netter, and he’s so elated he’s grown his hair back! Seriously, I don’t know if I was hallucinating earlier, or what, but I could have sworn his head was all shaved. I could go back and check, but instead I’m going to just blame it on MSG for splicing in footage from later in the season.
0:45 Raycroft came back on the ice for all of three seconds before leaving again, which allows Drury to score from three-quarters of the way down the ice. My lamps feel unsafe.
0:00 Okay, so apparently Miller has a second gear (hell, he seems to have gears ad infinitum), but the rest of the Sabres only have empty-netters up their sleeves. Still, I did enjoy this game, and it was definitely worth remembering. If only for the fact that, if the Leafs had just managed to win this game (which was much, much closer than the 7-4 final indicates), they would have been in the playoffs. Suckers! (Also, what’s this? The post-game thanking of Miller [you better well thank him, chumps] shows Funk was playing in this game, and I didn’t even notice. How could I not notice a guy named Funk?!)

Next week (which is to say, uh, tonight), the game I’ve been waiting for since this whole 12 to Remember business started. December 26th versus the Capitals. Folks, I was at this game, and it was glorious! I can’t wait to relive it, although it’ll probably be weird as hell recapping a game I was present for. But I got on TV! Sort of.