Euro 2008: Day 6

Croatia vs Germany

2 - 1

Austria vs Poland

1 - 1

It's been split into the winners and the losers again, which can only mean one thing: the winner of the first game will definitely be in, and the loser of the second game will definitely be out. (I'm pretty sure.) Drama! Clearly, I'm going for Germany and Austria, here. Croatia may be my new crush, but Germany and I are the real deal. Also, I'm really looking forward to joining all the Austrians on the fan mile and learning/using some cool new cheers. Hopefully they put on a good show.

Update: Well, last night started out awful, stayed awful in the middle, and then ended quite jubilantly! The quarterfinal picture just got so complicated I can't even handle it, though. Croatia is definitely in, but none of the other three remaining teams are technically out, yet, though there are varying degrees of probability for each team getting in. But I'm going to put off thinking about that until the next batch of games comes around.

Boy howdy did Germany play like shit last night. I mean, if I, who barely knows anything about football, can tell that you're all piles of puke, you know it's bad. There's not really much more I can say than that. They couldn't complete a pass, they couldn't find the goal, and they couldn't defend anything either. It was pretty ugly.

Even Ballack's hair didn't bring its A-game.
[Getty Images]

It wasn't until the last ten minutes that they started showing signs of life, when German Derek Roy struck again to make it 2-1, but showing up for the last ten minutes isn't going to win you games, just ask the Sabres. At least it allowed the German fans, of which there were many on the fan mile, to get back into it. For a while the only sound was the chanting of the Croatia fans in front of us "Deutschland, Deutschland, auf Wiedersehen!" and "Deutschland, Deutschland, alles ist vorbei!" (Germany, goodbye and Germany, it's all over. A bit melodramatic and premature, but I have to give them points for chanting in German. Although then they began trying to start fights in the crowd, so I'd rather not give them any points.) The only other moment worth mentioning was when Schweinsteiger (whose name, I've been told, can also be translated as "pig mounter," which is beyond unfortunate) took a red card in the final moments of the game. Since it's impossible to see the nuances of penalties on the big screen in real time when the camera uses such a wide shot, the German fans, of course, started complaining about the call right away, having not seen what he did. It was really funny watching the replay of Schweinsteiger and some Croatian player falling down in the corner while the Germans behind me yelled "Was, denn?!" (What, then?), and then when Schweinie got up and basically tackled the Croat to the ground, there was a collective feeling of "Oh. Right. That." in the crowd. Anyway, I was especially disappointed by this loss, because it means that both Germany and Austria can't go on, like I wanted them to. If Germany had won this game, I would have been free to root for Austria to win on Monday, but now I'm going to have to choose. This sucks. Stupid Germany.

For the second game, the fan mile was more packed than ever, which obviously makes sense. The whole thing was a mess of red and white, which was a bit of a problem, since at first glance it was hard to tell the difference between an Austrian fan and a Polish fan. Especially when they're all chanting in unintelligible language. Anyway, it got easier to recognize the Austrians in the first ten minutes or so, since they were the ones groaning loudly and saying "Das gibt's ja nicht!" ("That can't be!") over and over again. The Austrian team came out of the gate flying. They went after the ball, forced turnovers and completely dominated play, keeping consistent pressure on the Polish defense and, on a number of occasions, forced their way through to a perfect scoring position. And yet, they couldn't score to save their lives. Seriously, it should have been 4-0 in the first ten minutes, but the Austrians just kept getting so close and then screwing it up at the last second, shooting wide of an empty net, or kicking it right to goalie on a two-on-one. As reflected by all the cries of disbelief from the Austrian crowd, it was impossible that they weren't scoring. It was like watching a team full of Thomas Vaneks. It must be an Austrian thing. Of course, since Austria was failing to capitalize on the mistakes of the Polish defense, that meant that they eventually made a mistake, and the Poles did capitalize on it. Poland scored on a shot that the Austrian goaltender just failed to get, and that pretty much deflated them and their attack retreated after that. Then the game got pretty boring. Nothing much happened at all until the last three minutes of stoppage time, when Austria drew a penalty in the box. By this time, my view of the screen was pretty impeded (which I hadn't even really noticed, since nothing worthwhile was happening), and I thought they had scored, based on the crowd's reaction. I still never saw the actual penalty (I'm told it was kind of a dive, but what isn't in soccer?), and I only barely saw the shot. I was just praying they weren't going to somehow screw up this golden opportunity, too, and luckily they didn't. The crowd exploded when they scored, and, a few minutes later, when the game officially ended, the Austrians took to the streets, yelling and chanting and singing. I'm pretty sure it's the most excited anyone's been about a tie since someone invented this:

Doesn't it make you want to celebrate?

So, the next Group B games should be interesting.

Euro 2008: Day 5

Czech Republic vs Portugal
1 - 3

Switzerland vs Turkey

1 - 2

Round 2! The games have been split into the winners and the losers in this round, and I'm going for Portugal and Switzerland once again. Lena's already told me that she's going to be with me on Portugal in this one, so it won't be two against one this time anymore. Actually, it looks like we're getting a big group of kids, mostly from Mac, together for tonight. Look for an update later, as usual.


Update: We have our first really meaningful results! If I followed the Austrian commentary and the meaning of the point system correctly, after last night's games Portugal is officially in to the quarterfinals and Swizterland is officially out. Yay! And, sad! The next game between Czech Republic and Turkey will be really intense, since it will determine who gets to join Portugal in the next round. Even though everything didn't really work out the way I wanted it to, last night's games were still pretty exciting.

Lena had class yesterday evening, so she ended up not being able to join us on the fan mile for either game, but Hannah and Alice came with Mark and me. We three girls were all going for Portugal, but Mark said he couldn't, because they play too dirty. So then the Czechs spent the game stomping on opponents' hands and elbowing and karate chopping in the face. (Someone smacked Ronaldo in the mouth, and I thought of my mom when I squealed "Not his face!") Don't get me wrong, the Portuguese team gave as good as they got, but there was absolutely no higher ground in cheering for the Czechs when it came to clean play. There was also this frighteningly large striker on the Czech team, who seemed to be there for no reason other than to be frighteningly large. At one point the Portuguese goalkeeper was picking the ball up, and this guy comes running up and jumped, literally, right up to him. Since he knew he couldn't touch the goalie, I'm not sure what that whole display was about, but Hannah and I found it kind of terrifying. We also found it fun to use the one phrase we know in Czech, which we learned from her Eastern Europe phrasebook when we went to Prague: "Mám vši!" It means "I have lice!" It would have been more useful, trash-talking-wise, to know how to say "You have lice!" but since it would be weird to go to the doctor and tell him he has lice, Hannah's phrasebook couldn't provide us with that. So we just had to make do with pretending that all of the Czech players were saying that to themselves, whenever the camera showed one of them.

To get to the actual game, it was a more or less comfortable win for Portugal. Their first goal was an even bigger mess than the Swedish goal from the other night. The Czechs had multiple chances to clear the ball, but they kept fucking it up, and the Portuguese had multiple chances to score but they kept fucking it up, until finally the goalie let it roll away from him right to a Portuguese forward, who finally scored, but only after it ricocheted off a defender first. The Czech team answered a few minutes later, potting a header off of a corner kick, and for the first time ever in this tournament we had a game tied at something other than zero. During halftime we had to endure some really awful host guy trying to do I don't know what. It was especially painful when he tried to speak English for no apparent reason, and I found myself longing for the uncoordinated cheerleader/dancers and monotonous drummers that filled halftime of the first game. The start of the second half was very welcome indeed. Just as I was starting to think that my boyfriend Ronaldo wasn't playing too well (and they hadn't been showing as many closeups of him as in the first game, which was disappointing), he scored, on a real blistering shot from right outside the top of the box. Portugal secured the game with a few minutes to go, after a strong chance for the Czechs left their defense out of position. It resulted in a two-on-goalie chance that was easily put away.

As I think will always be the case on the fan mile, the second game was more enjoyable, maybe just because the atmosphere was more lively. The Turkish fans were already showing up at halftime of the first game, amassing with their flags and painted faces and marching through the crowd chanting and singing. It was pretty cool. By the time the game started, there was also a strong contingent of Swiss fans in attendance, so we were caught in the middle of kind of a chanting war with "Türkiye! *clap clap clap*" coming from our left, and "Hop Schwiez! Hop Schwiez!" from behind us. It was pretty cool. Meanwhile, it was raining so hard in Basel, Switzerland that the players were practically underwater. The field surface was a mess, and it looked like trying to play soccer on a Slip-N-Slide. Players would go down and wouldn't stop sliding for a good twenty feet. It looked like great fun (when I used to play soccer I loved playing in the rain), but also really arduous and exhausting. The way the ball kept skidding and sometimes coming to a complete halt reminded me of the wonky ice conditions at the Ice Bowl, and eventually it resulted in a goal for the Swiss. Both the Turkish goalie and a Swiss forward were trying to get to a ball at the same time when the goalie slid, missed it, and then ended up way out of the play. Another Swiss forward got possession of the ball near the goal line, and centered it around a Turkish defender, where it stopped dead in a puddle in the middle of the goal. From there it was an easy tap into the goal. Despite the drenched conditions, Switzerland seemed to dominate the first half, but in the end only had that one goal to show for it. In the second half it seemed to have stopped raining, and somehow the field seemed dryer as well, like someone had wrung it out. It was the that the Turks started taking over the game. Their first goal was a real beauty, a long, long centering pass from the wing up to the front, and then a clean header in. From then on the game seemed destined to end in a tie, with both teams fighting hard to stave off elimination. At one point the Swiss seemed sure to score, getting a three-on-two, and a pretty good shot, but the Turkish goalie made a really great, slippery save to keep his team in it. In the end, it was the Turks who scored, with only about two minutes left in stoppage time, to kill the Swiss dreams of making the quarterfinals. It was a really dramatic finish, and all the Turkish fans, of course, went nuts. For my part, I couldn't help but be disappointed. I tried to get myself to root for the Turks, really I did. Their fans were so into it and I have no reason to dislike them (Döner is still delicious!), but, for whatever reason, I was really attached to the idea of Switzerland winning and was really sad to see them get knocked out.

Anyway, tonight the games stop being nice and start getting real. Germany and Austria are both playing (though not against each other) and this time I'll actually be in Vienna. I can't wait!

Euro 2008: Day 4

Spain vs Russia
4 - 1

Greece vs Sweden

0 - 2

I'm back in Vienna and should be headed down to the fan mile again tonight to continue winging this whole "blogging about a sport that isn't hockey" thing. For the record, I'll be rooting for Spain and Sweden, at least until I have a reason to do otherwise. I predict my two phrases of the night will be "Thank God I'm going to the circus" in Russian, and "Are you Swedish, sir?"

Update: I went to both of the games tonight on the fan mile with my friend Mark and my roommate Lena, who's from Bavaria. Everything was splendid! For the early game, there weren't too many people there, so we actually got to sit on the ground in Rathausplatz and watch the big screen. Mark and Lena decided to cheer for Russia, but, while I truly appreciate everything Russia has done for my favorite sport, the pull of the hot Spaniards was too much for me. Especially since it appeared to be raining in Innsbruck (where the game was being played), which only increased the disparity of hotness between the two teams, making Spain look like super models and Russia look like drowned rats (or, even worse, Brian Campbell at his sweatiest). Poor Russia. At some point during the game I felt kind of ashamed to be rooting for Spain, because they were really dirty--grabbing, tripping, and kicking all over the place--but, honestly, I don't think it would have made much of a difference since Russia... didn't seem very good at football. The turnovers were atrocious and there were a few occasions when they had golden opportunities, and ended up hitting the post, kicking it wide of the net, or pretty much passing it to the goaltender. Yeah, it was like a team of Yo-Yos with none of the upside. At least they have hockey. Still, they're the only losing team so far in this tournament to score a goal, and it was a pretty gorgeous one, too. I can't really remember if it was a corner kick or just a long cross, but a Russian put it in just over the goalie's hands with a diving header. The ball changed direction so quickly that the Spanish goalie didn't really have a chance, but I still used the excuse that he couldn't save it because he was concussed. Earlier in the game he'd jumped in the air to grab a ball, only to collide with a Russian player trying to get his head on it. They replayed the collision from about ten different angles, and one pretty clearly showed his head connecting with the other guy's shoulder. I certainly hope he's not concussed, but it sure looked like it hurt. Anyway, it was a good game from my perspective, though not terribly exciting, since Spain seemed to always have the game in hand. Lena and Mark also hoped the next one would be better.

Before the next game, we all went home to change and get something to eat. Mark and Lena put on white shirts to support Greece, while I donned a gold shirt to support Sweden--once again it was two against one, but I didn't care. I briefly considered putting on my Yo-Yo jersey, since it's blue and gold and could maybe pass for a Sweden shirt, but it was way too hot for that. The game was really fun, and more exciting than the first, even though it was still scoreless about three quarters of the way in. Both teams had some close calls and were trading chances and momentum pretty fluidly. At halftime we all went and bought beers (or what passes for beer in Austria--Lena and Mark, a German and a half-German, are beer snobs) just to get the cool plastic cups with all the flags on it. Now that I have the cup, I don't think I'll ever feel the need to buy beer on the fan mile again, especially considering it was 5 Euro, about $7.50. We then pushed farther into the crowd, and Mark and Lena led me directly into a huge group of Greece fans, which was cruel. I didn't feel threatened or anything, especially seeing as how I wasn't really conspicuously rooting for Sweden. I just felt so small cheering for the Swedish goals amid the chants of "Hellas! Hellas!" The first goal was really, really beautiful. A clean kick from just outside the penalty box that arced right into the top left corner of the net. Pure soccer. The second goal, however, was a veritable clusterfuck. A Swedish forward found himself one-on-one with the Greek goaltender, only to kick it straight at him. It ricocheted off the goalie to another Swede, who kicked it way high in the air in the direction of the net. Yet another Swede attempted to head it in, missed, and then eventually knocked it in over a defender's back and through the goalie's legs. It was a mess. But a mess that ended up in another point for my team, so I was happy. I also double-love Sweden now, because they facilitated my favorite chants so far. First, as we were walking to the game, we heard someone behind us chanting "I-KE-A! I-KE-A!" which was really funny. And then, during the game, the Austrians cheering for Greece started leading the cheer "Ihr seid nur ein Möbellieferant! Möbellieferant! Möbellieferant!" ("You're just a furniture store!") It was inspired, but all for naught, as Team Hank Tall Indians still claimed victory. Hah!

Eagerly awaiting the next games...

Euro 2008: Day 3

Romania vs France
0 - 0

The Netherlands vs Italy

3 - 0

(Note: I did, in fact get to see the Group B games, but I'm still working on the post about them. Keep an eye on the post before this one for an update. Update: It's updated now! How many times am I going to say update? Update!)

As I feared, I was on a train somewhere between Budapest and Vienna when these games took place, so I don't have much to say about them except: I'm glad I missed that Romania/France game. Sounds like a snooze. And I'm super pumped that the Netherlands won. They have hilarious names and really pleasing orange jerseys. I approve. And since I have yet to actually see them, the Italians haven't yet been able to bewitch me with perhaps their greatest weapon, their looks. Better luck next time, I guess.

Euro 2008: Day 2

Austria vs Croatia

0 - 1

Germany vs Poland
2 - 0

Stupidly, my friends and I scheduled an overnight trip to Budapest today, so I won't be able to watch the first batch of games of the group I'm most looking forward to seeing. I'm super excited to go to Budapest, but it's unfortunate that the trip had to overlap with these games, because I'm starting to form a major crush on Croatia, and would love to see them play Austria, especially after seeing about a million of their fans last night. But anyway, there's nothing I can do, and maybe it's a blessing in disguise because I would probably invariably end up feeling bad for whoever loses that game. As for Germany vs Poland, Polish pierogies are heavenly, but I'm rooting for Germany all the way.

I'm not sure what time I'll be back in Vienna tomorrow, but it will probably be late enough that I'll miss those games, as well. So look for an update on Group C after the fact. In the meantime I'm going to fill the empty space of my absence with a picture of a bar down the street from my dorm:


Last week it was called "Charlie P's Irish Pub" and was painted Celtic green and gold. I think Vienna might be finally starting to get into it.

Update: Okay, it seems I severely underestimated the extent to which Europe is obsessed with this tournament. Not only were the games playing in Budapest, but I actually got to see more of them than of the Group A games. I don't have any pictures this time, unless you guys want to see the millions of pictures I took of the Chain Bridge (warning: no actual chains involved), which I'm sure you don't, but I do have comments anyway:

We managed to get a table at a cute little Hungarian restaurant right in front of a big, sharp HD TV in time for the first game. My veal stew was delicious, but unfortunately the game wasn't quite as satisfying. By the time we got there, it was already about 30 minutes in and Croatia was up 1-0. I was pretty equally delighted and dismayed by this (Croatia is, after all, my crush team), until I actually saw the goal. It was a penalty kick as the result of what appeared to be a pretty weak call on a trip in the penalty box, and to make matters worse, it involved what appear to be the only non-cute Croats on the entire team (one flopped around grossly to draw the penalty, and the other actually took the shot). Seriously, they are almost painfully cute. Even their coach is a doll. Of course, the Austrians proved to hold their own in the cuteness department as well, which was a nice realization. Particularly eye-catching was one Martin Harnik, who looks a bit like a weasel, but a cute one. (The internet is not providing me with acceptable pictures of these people, otherwise I'd be posting them here.) Croatia definitely wins out in the jersey design competition, though, hands down. Even if the Croatia jerseys weren't the coolest thing since sliced bread, the numbers on the back of the Austrian jerseys are all pixelated and make it look like your TV's resolution is bad, even when it's not. I'm not a fan. Anyway, I was forced to pay attention to things like this because the game itself wasn't the most compelling. It looked, to my untrained eye, very sloppy, with abundances of imprecise passing and major misses of the net by both teams. Still, Austria put on a lot of pressure, especially in the final minutes, and got some good close chances, and I couldn't help but feel pissed off on their behalf that they had to end up losing the game--on their own soil, no less--on such a crappy goal. By the way, there was absolutely no sign of my brother's Doppelgänger, which was another disappointment.

Luckily, the Germans put on a good show and helped wash away that bad football taste. By the time the game started, Hannah, Alice, and I were checked into our hostel and watching on the communal TV there. It was great, because instead of the Hungarian broadcast we had earlier, we were somehow getting a German TV station. And, unlike the broadcasts of the games at the fan mile in Vienna, it was in actual, understandable German and not Austrian. After Germany scored their first goal, however, we realized we were the only people in the room who cared, and decided to go in search of a sports bar for a better atmosphere. We came to a bar stuffed with Germany fans just as the second half was starting, and found a tiny table in the corner. We kind of had to twist around and crane our necks to see the big screen, but it worked out okay. At the very least, it was great to be able to celebrate Germany's second goal in the proper fashion, instead of just politely cheering. The game was delightful. The two goals were both scored by Lukas Podolski, a half-Pole (drama!) who I've decided reminds me of Derek Roy. He's small-ish (the Euro Cup website tells me he's 182 cm, or about 5'11", so he's not really Roy-sized, but he is considerably smaller than most of the other German players), feisty, and was consistently roughed-up and manhandled all night. That just has Roy written all over it. His two goals were the result of some really fantastic workman-like dismantling of the Polish defense, which in the first case ended with two Germans against just the Polish goalie, who had no chance as Podolski easily knocked it in. Also, if you squint just right, he kind of looks like Roy-Z.

I wonder if Bedazzlers exist in Germany.

On the other hand, he also seems like a sweetheart, and I'm sorry, Derek, you know I love you, but of all the words I would use to describe you, "sweetheart" is not one of them. Podolski admitted to having "mixed feelings" on scoring twice against the country he was born in, and he didn't celebrate either goal. At the end of the match he even traded jerseys with the Polish player Lewandowski, which was adorable.

Approval.

Anyway, I'm glad I didn't miss these games, and look forward to Thursday when Group B plays again. The fan mile should be jumping!

Euro 2008: Day 1

Switzerland vs Czech Republic
0 - 1

Portugal vs Turkey
2 - 0

Okay, everybody, this is it! It's finally here! Um, I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to blog this. I didn't really think this all the way through. I'll probably be stopping by the fan mile (70,000 fans and giant screens), which isn't exactly a laptop-friendly environment, so whatever I'm putting in this space will have to be made up after the fact. Pictures? Eye-witness accounts? Grade A football analysis? I don't know! It'll be a surprise!

For now, suffice it to say that I'll be rooting for Switzerland and Portugal. (Döner may be more delicious than Ronaldo, but Ronaldo's deliciousness is more available.)

Update: So, half of my wishes came true. I must confess I didn't know that Switzerland lost until just now, because I only saw the opening minutes of the game, but the Portugal win I viewed from the fan mile! There were tons of closeups of my Euro Cup boyfriend, which was much appreciated, the game itself was pretty exciting, and the atmosphere really helped it along. Here are some pictures:


On our way down to the fan mile, we (my friends Hannah and Alice and I) came across this weird blow-up house of giant proportions, which promised us the "Euro Experience." The poster outside used some strangely threatening language to describe what awaited us inside, but it was free, so we decided to brave it anyway. I'm really, really glad we did. Among other things (a trial of the Euro 2008 game for Xbox 360, which I was terrible at, quizzes about the Euro, which, after all of my research in the past few days, I was surprisingly good at, etc.) was this:


The Henri Delaunay Trophy. This is what it's all about. I'm unclear on whether this is the original or a replica. I'm tempted to say a replica, but there was a very official-looking man guarding it, so maybe it is the real one. In any case, it's no Stanley, but it's still pretty cool.


The tent also contained framed versions of all of the 2008 teams' jerseys, and it's official. Croatia's is totally the best. I saw tons of people wearing this jersey today (not surprisingly, since Croatia is playing in Vienna tomorrow) and I'm not really sure why, but I think I may be in love with it. If I see someone selling one, I may just have to buy it. In the adjoining tent, there was a movie of all the past Euro Cup finals games going on, and it got us so pumped that we wanted to see some football right that second! Luckily, we could, because the Switzerland/Czech Republic game was about to start.


After negotiating our way through the ridiculously strict security check-point, we made it to the fan mile. Here are all the people sitting in Rathausplatz watching one of the big screens. Unfortunately, we were only able to stay for about twenty minutes and then we went to go meet some people for dinner, but it was really starting to fill up as we were leaving. We finished dinner just as the first game was finishing, and tried to guess, based on the levels of excitement of people wearing Swiss/Czech colors how it had ended, but there didn't really seem to be many of those fans around. By the time we got through security again, the game was just getting started, and the mile was definitely more packed with fans than before. We did a little wandering, though, and somehow found a near-deserted corner, with practically our own personal screens to watch.


The first half ended scoreless, thanks to a goal for Portugal being called off for offsides, but it was still entertaining. Cristiano Ronaldo must have done some research on what I like to see in my favorite players, because he got a free kick in a prime location, and ended up hitting the post. Did Yo-Yo share that tip with him? By halftime we were ready to get a little more in the center of the action, and decided to try to push our way into the main crowd in Rathausplatz.


That's the Rathaus, or City Hall, which had the largest of all of the screens, as well as a stage for some really horrible halftime acts, set up in front of it. The crowd was pretty well split between supporters for both teams, though I doubt any actual Portuguese were there. Most of those cheering for Portugal were probably Austrians cheering against the Turks. There's some complicated background there that, as a foreigner and an outsider, I don't really feel comfortable getting into, but suffice it to say it has to do with immigration and some sieges that happened a few hundreds of years ago. I felt kind of bad for all of the Turkish fans going home without even being able to celebrate a goal.


I have to say, I kind of dig the European football way of calling matches: spare and sparse. Sure, I love RJ's flare as much as the next self-respecting Sabres fan, but sometimes it's nice to be able to just listen to the game and the stadium without obtrusive interruption. Since there was only one guy working the game alone, there was no forced, inane conversation filling any and all dead space. And since soccer is a much slower-moving sport than hockey, there's really no need to keep up a fast-paced run of game calling. A good majority of the call tonight was just the commentator saying the name of whoever had the ball, and then the name of whoever he passed it to, and so on. It created a very natural connection between the fans and the game, I thought. Like sports viewing at its basest level. Then again, maybe I only appreciated it because I couldn't really understand what was being said anyway. I like to think my German is pretty good, but my football vocabulary is pretty lacking, and the commentator had a pretty thick Austrian dialect which I'm still not quite used to.


This was the extent of the crowd behind me. All throughout the game the crowd was very well behaved. Of course there was drinking and (gasp!) singing and chanting, but everything seemed clean and safe. It was only as we were trying to leave that things got a little pushy and hairy, but even then it wasn't that bad. We did pass some sort of showdown between some Austrian and Croatian fans on our way out, apparently in preparation for tomorrow's game, in which there was no actual physical contact, or (as far as I could tell) actual words, involved. It was pretty bizarre, actually. Out of a lack of a common language, they resorted to blowing soccer-ball-shaped whistles and directing emphatic arm movements at each other to express themselves. At least this is what I gather to have been going on. I only got to witness it for about three seconds before I was carried on by the crowd toward the exit. All in all, it was a pretty enjoyable night, and I look forward to getting back to the fan mile soon! But for now, sleep.

My Brother is a Cock

The face (and erstwhile playoff beard) of a high school graduate, everyone.

(Title is in reference to the fact that my brother will be attending University of South Carolina Columbia in the fall, whose sports teams are the Gamecocks. If you don't think I'm going to take full advantage of this at every opportunity, you're crazy.)

The hardest part about being in Europe for six months has been accepting the fact that life is going on without me back in the States. For some reason I feel like there should be some sort of pause button I can hit before I leave the country, so I can be sure I won't miss anything while I'm gone. It's weird enough to think that most of my friends completed an entire semester at Mac while I've been gone: wrote papers I wasn't assigned, performed in plays I didn't see, went to parties I didn't even know about. Or that the hockey season carried on without me watching. (If the Red Wings win the Cup in the woods and I'm not there to see it, does it make a sound?)

But weirdest of all is that my baby brother is graduating from high school today. When I left in January, he had just finished sending in the majority of his college applications, and when I come back in July, he'll be preparing for his first college semester. Yes, this is actually happening. And even though being in Europe is a pretty good excuse, it's killing me that I can't be there to share this day with him and my family. I was flipping through some pictures of him the other day and realized it's time I accepted the fact that my little brother is more talented, more popular, funnier, and better looking than I am. (Although I'm still smarter, so he has to deal with that.) I couldn't be more proud of him. So, Dan, I just want to let you know I'm thinking of you today, and I can't believe it. It seems like only yesterday you looked like this:

Silliness.

I love you, kid, and I miss you. (I bet you all weren't expecting a post with such a title to end this sweetly, did you.?) Just don't go turning into a Hurricanes fan or I'll have to disown you. (That's more like it.)

Idiot's Guide to UEFA Euro 2008: Group D

The UEFA Euro Cup (also known by about a billion other names like the European Football Championship, Euro 2008, or die Euro or die EM if you're speaking German) is a competition consisting of 16 teams, split up into four groups of four. In the early rounds of the tournament, the teams from each group compete amongst themselves and the top two finishers go on to play in the quarter finals. The 2008 schedule looks like this. I've spent the past couple of days getting to know the teams a little bit, and here's what I've found out.

Group D - Greece, Sweden, Spain, Russia

Greece

Greece 2004 - Get ready to hand it over.
[Getty Images]

What I think: Aside from the obvious--chicken wings, beef on weck, sponge candy--the thing I miss most about the Western New York food scene is the abundance of Greek restaurants. I would kill for some of Kosta's taramosalata or chicken souvlaki. Stuffed grape leaves! Baklava! Mmmmmm! So, in keeping with the tradition of letting my football opinions be swayed by the deliciousness of a country's native cuisine, Greece has my approval.
Jerseys I would consider buying just for the sake of having the name on my back: Patsatzoglou, Spiropoulos, Giannakopoulos, Liberopoulos
The outlook: Surprised many by winning Euro 2004, apparently relying very heavily on their defense. They logged three consecutive shutouts in the quarterfinal, semifinal, and final round, winning each by a score of 1-0. That's pretty sexy. Unfortunately for them, in the 48-year history of the Euro Cup, in which 12 champions have been crowned, no team has yet managed to effectively defend their title, so the odds are against a Greek repeat. Still, it looks like they're not going to give it up without a fight, at least. They were one of the most successful teams in qualifying, clinching with two games to spare and notching 31 points, more than any other team in the qualifying round. After failing to qualify for the 2006 World Cup, it looks like they're coming on strong again.

Sweden

Various Swedes - Look, it's a team of Hank Tallinders!
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What I think: Sweden has brought me so many great things. Henrik Tallinder. Swedish Fish. Pretty much all of the home furnishings in Europe (at the moment, the chair I'm sitting on, the bowl I'm eating cereal out of, and the spoon I'm eating it with all say IKEA on them). And did I mention it's an entire team of Swedish men? Yeah, how could I not like the Swedes?
Jerseys I would consider buying just for the sake of having the name on my back: Shaaban, Majstorovic, Ljungberg, Ibrahimović
The outlook: This will be Sweden's fifth consecutive appearance in the Euro finals, but they have yet to make it past the first knockout round of the tournament. In 2006 they were likewise sent home by Germany in the Round of 16. The story of their qualifying games is somewhat less than inspiring, as they won their first four games, including a 2-0 victory over Spain, but failed to clinch their place in the finals until their very last game, when they beat Latvia 2-1. There's also this somewhat bewildering story accompanying one of their games in Denmark:

Sweden were awarded a 3-0 win against Denmark in their next game after the qualifier in Copenhagen was abandoned after a Danish spectator attacked the match referee, who had just awarded Sweden a late penalty with the scores level at 3-3.

I'm confused. Does this mean that Denmark scored three goals, but then had them all taken away? Officially? Because of the actions of one of their fans? That doesn't seem right at all. (Neither does jumping out of the stands to attack a referee, but that's European football for you.) Anyway, despite this curious gift, Sweden still struggled to qualify and seem primed to get knocked out in the early going once again.

Spain

Iker Casillas - He's definitely not icky.
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What I think: After exhaustively researching Spain's photo gallery, I've determined that they are, almost as a rule, all sexpots. I approve.
Jerseys I would consider buying just for the sake of having the name on my back: Palop, Puyol, Capdevila
The outlook: Spain won the Euro Cup in 1964, but have failed to really make a strong impression since then, perennially exiting in the early rounds. They also bowed out of the 2006 World Cup early, not even making it out of the group stage. They ended their recent qualifying round strongly, recovering from a bad start which saw them take only three points from their first three qualifying games (I don't know what that means, but apparently it's near-disastrous). They eventually finished on top of their qualifying group, and seem to be a popular pick to win it all this year.

Russia

Alexey Berezulski - Russian ballet?
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What I think: After I perfect my German (HA!), I hope to one day learn Russian. I already have a semester's-worth under my belt, which means I can read Cyrillic, albeit only very slowly and with all the emphasis on the wrong syllables, I'm sure. I can also say the sentence, "Thank God I'm going to the circus," which, of course, is useful in any number of situations. I'm practically fluent already! My point is, I'm inclined to like the Russians based on the awesomeness of their language, as well as their high production of NHLers. Unfortunately, in a group full of steamy Mediterranians and darling Scandanavians the Russians are, with a few exceptions, the European football equivalent of Marla Hooch from A League of their Own. (What a hitter!) If they want to win me over, they're going to have to do it with their play. And preferably with only wide-angle camera shots.
Jerseys I would consider buying just for the sake of having the name on my back: Malafeev, Ignashevich, Bilyaletdinov, Pavlyuchenko
The outlook: Well, it looks like the Russians are probably going to have a hard time impressing me on the field, too. They failed to qualify for the 2006 World Cup, and didn't survive the group stage of Euro 2004, which remains their best performance in a Euro Cup to date. (As the USSR, they won the first Cup in 1960, and appeared to two other finals thereafter.) Their performance in their qualifying games was somewhat less than encouraging, as they managed a surprise qualification only because Croatia beat England 3-2 in their last meeting. Well, at least their hockey team are champions, right?

Coming Soon: Day 1, July 7th!

Idiot's Guide to UEFA Euro 2008: Group C

The UEFA Euro Cup (also known by about a billion other names like the European Football Championship, Euro 2008, or die Euro or die EM if you're speaking German) is a competition consisting of 16 teams, split up into four groups of four. In the early rounds of the tournament, the teams from each group compete amongst themselves and the top two finishers go on to play in the quarter finals. The 2008 schedule looks like this. I've spent the past couple of days getting to know the teams a little bit, and here's what I've found out.

Group C - The Netherlands, Italy, Romania, France

The Netherlands

Giovanni van Bronckhorst - How you doin'?
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What I think: Can anyone tell me why in God's name Team Netherlands wears orange when that color is nowhere to be found on their flag? Not that I'm complaining, there are certainly enough teams that have red white and blue covered. It's just always been a mystery to me. To Wikipedia I go! Okay, so apparently the red band on the flag was originally orange, and it has to do with some dude called William of Orange-Nassau. I suspect it also has to do with the fact that they can't pass up a nickname like "Clockwork Orange." Okay, with that out of the way, I have no strong feelings about the Dutch one way or the other, so they're going to have work if they want to win me over. The above picture is a good start.
Jerseys I would consider buying just for the sake of having the name on my back: Ooijer, Boulahrouz, de Zeeuw, Sneijder, van der Vaart, van Nistelrooy (Okay, having pretty uniformly ridiculous-sounding names is a step in the right direction, too.)
The outlook: Clockwork Orange seems to be a perfectly competent football team, qualifying without much drama (Romania gave them the biggest trouble, tying and beating them once apiece). They made it to the semifinal round of the 2006 World Cup before losing a pretty ugly game to Portugal 0-1, to whom they'd also lost 1-2 two years previous in the semifinals of Euro 2004. Some bad blood there, I expect. The Netherlands are celebrating the 20-year anniversary of their only Euro Cup win, and hoping for a repeat. I'm just hoping they'll get more interesting.

Italy

Gianluigi Buffon - Buffs back the ball.
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What I think: The reigning World Cup Champions, the Italians are pretty hot shit. They're also just pretty hot. Undeniably. Unfortunately, they're also responsible for knocking my beloved Germany out in the semis of the 2006 World Cup, so I'm conflicted. (Also, what's up with them playing in blue when it's not one of their national colors and about a million other teams wear blue? It's just lame.) I predict, however, that my first glimpse of their faces will do a lot to bridge the gap of my soured feelings.
Jerseys I would consider buying just for the sake of having the name on my back: Buffon, Grosso, Materazzi, Quagliarella
The outlook: Obviously, after winning it all in 2006, the expectations are quite high. Unfortunately, their captain, Fabio Cannavaro was carted of the field at a training session three days ago after sending his ankle ligaments in all directions. I'm not familiar enough with the sport to speculate on how the absence of one player will change things, but losing your captain can never be a good thing. They competed strongly in their qualifying matches, though they struggled with France, whom they beat in a shootout in the 2006 finals. Italy should still be a major player in the tournament, and their game against France (June 17th) should be an interesting one.

Romania

Bogdan Lobonţ - Hope he doesn't get "bogged down."
(No, the bad puns won't ever stop.)
[Getty Images]

What I think: I know next to nothing about Romania. I've never been there, I've never met anyone from there, and they don't even have a delicious foodstuff for me to cling to as a basis for my opinions. (At least not one that I know of, though I'm open to suggestions.) All I can say is that it's pretty cute that their flag features the three primary colors. And that's all I got.
Jerseys I would consider buying just for the sake of having the name on my back: Popa, Stancioiu, Raţ, Sapunaru
The outlook: This is Romania's first trip to the Euro finals since 2000, but they seem to have pretty effectively asserted their dominance in the qualifying round. They conceded a 0-1 loss to Bulgaria, but remained unbeaten in their other ten games. They failed to qualify for the 2006 World Cup, and seem like the odd team out in this group, but their coach, who led them to qualifying for Euro 2000, but was replaced before the finals started, is looking for vindication. Could be some drama there.

France

Nicolas Anelka - He can fly!
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What I think: There's some residual bad blood between me and France from the 2006 World Cup. After Italy destroyed Germany's dreams of winning on their home turf, I decided to throw my support 100% behind France in the finals. Keep in mind, I had just finished watching Carolina, who'd stolen Buffalo's spot in the SCF, hoisting the Cup, and I was not at all about witnessing the success of another team that beat the one I loved, no matter how hot they were. Of course, then that ugly Zidane incident happened, and it was suddenly impossible to root for France, either. Just like that, in the game I'd looked forward to for weeks, I hated both teams. As a result, I've somehow ended up resenting France more for taking away my rooting interest than Italy for actually winning. Yes, I realize it's not fair for me to hold the actions of one player, especially a player who's not even playing anymore, against the entire team, but this isn't about being fair. If France wants my respect back, they're going to have to earn it.
Jerseys I would consider buying just for the sake of having the name on my back: Mandanda, Boumsong, Squillaci, Toulalan
The outlook: Well, everyone knows how the World Cup ended for them. Losing in a shootout after their captain had been sent off in disgrace. Pretty rough. Moreover, they exited Euro 2004 in the quarterfinal round at the hands of the eventual champions, Greece, after winning it all four years before. Their qualifying games were a bit of a mess, as they avenged themselves against Italy, beating them 3-0 and then tying them 0-0, but struggled to put Scotland away. They eventually clinched their place in the finals, finishing second in their group behind Italy, but it was more of an ordeal than they were expecting, and they'll have to pull themselves together if they want to go the distance this time.

Coming Soon: Group D!