A Letter About Photographic Evidence

Dear All-Star Photographers,

As diligent readers of this blog, I'm sure you remember last year, when I used one of your photos as evidence of Eric Staal's serial killer-ness. Well, here's more unwanted fuel for that fire:

Yeesh.

Sadly, this time around it's you getting I'm writing the letter to, because I'm pretty sure this is a scare me once, shame on him, scare me twice, shame on you situation. Last year you did your part with the throne series, producing mostly appealing and sometimes downright adorable results (see Chara, Zdeno). It's not your fault Staal chose to make threatening gestures with his stick and ruined the whole intended vibe. But this year you were asking for it. You really didn't expect to take a close-up portrait of Eric Staal dressed in all black and have the vibe be anything but "I want to stab your eyes out with this knife I found in your back," did you? Well, lesson learned. I expect better from you in the future.

Regards,
Gambler

P.S. Then again, I'm pretty sure Staal could manage to look creepily murderous perched amongst a pile of beagle puppies, so maybe the only solution is to not photograph him at all? I think it's worth some consideration.

Playing Catch-Up

Just to be clear, when I made my resolution at the new year to post at least once a week, I was intentionally vague about how a week was defined. Did I mean there wouldn't be more than a week between posts, or would I be going by the calendar week? Well, considering it has been more than a week since my last post, I'm going to define it right here and now as the calendar week. So since my last post was on the Sunday of the last calendar week, this totally counts. Just so you know.

There's been a lot to say about the progress the Sabres have made in the last few games, but I haven't really had a chance to write about it until now, so instead of writing a series of focused and more in-depth posts like a real blogger would do, I'm going to have to do a bit of recap style of the past five games:

1. Considering watching the Winter Classic made me want to listen to Elliott Smith and lament the sorry state of my hockey team, I thought the outcome of the Detroit game was pretty okay. Sure, it would have been great to have held onto that lead for two minutes longer and steal at least a point, but at the end of the day, we didn't really deserve it. Miller played just as out of his mind as he did in the game before against the Rangers, but the skaters were largely overwhelmed and openly scrambling for most of the game. Still, it was a far better effort than I had been expecting/prepared to see, and I'm willing to give them a pass for it. Maybe I'm being too soft of a fan, but the Red Wings are just so damn good, that I'm just happy it wasn't a blow out.

2. Actually, I was so pleased with the effort in that game that I came out thinking we had a legitimate chance against Chicago, even with Lalime starting. Which, once again, when you consider the way the Winter Classic made me feel, is kind of incredible. Well, I'm not exactly sure what happened. Maybe I tricked myself into thinking the team had started giving a damn when they actually hadn't, maybe Miller was the glue that held it all together, but one thing's for sure. That game blew. It blew so hard, I can't even remember at this point what the big picture of that game was like. When I think back on it, all I see is this one Numminen pass that happened, I think, sometime in the second period. There were at least three other Sabres around him as he was crossing into the neutral zone, in varying states of pass availability, and he chose to float the softest pass I've ever seen right between all of them for an easy interception. As I said to my mom, as we rewound our TiFaux to watch and wonder what the hell he was thinking, it was like he was trying to use his pass to describe the axis of the center of mass for all the players he could have passed to. (I'm so glad I took AP Physics in high school, so that I could use it to find new and creative ways to describe how my hockey team sucks.)

3. In any case, it's a good thing they won the Dallas game the way that they did, or they would have put me dangerously close to breaking out the Elliott Smith again. Truth be told, I didn't end up seeing the game in it's entirety. I missed the OT period altogether, and only saw the shootout the morning after, because I broke the cardinal rule of TiFaux and forgot to record the show directly after the game in case it ran over. In my defense, I was under the impression that we were going to catch up to the recording before it finished, and at the point in the game when it still would have been viable to record the next thing, the Sabres were looking so lackluster and destined to lose that it never even crossed my mind that it could be going past regulation. Anyway, it's been a while since we saw the team come back like that, and on a day when Mike Schopp's assessment of the team as "gutless" wouldn't stop running through my head, it was nice to see them gut out a win. To be sure, the Stars aren't as solid a team as they once were, and have apparently had trouble holding onto leads all season, no matter how cushy they might seem, but taking the momentum back when the other team is running away with it is something this team has done far too seldom lately.

And I know I might be biased, but while Goose definitely stole the show, I thought this was Hecht's best game in a while. Given the fact that I reacted to him getting the puck in front of a wide open net by wanting to shout "I cannot believe he missed that!" there's definitely room for improvement over his recent play. Even with the goal aside, he was hitting (well, what passes as hitting from Yo-Yo anyway), actively backchecking, and moving the puck well in the offensive zone, at one point laying a beautiful pass right into the crease that Pommers couldn't get to. Sure, he was his usual stone-hands self at a couple of points when shooting at the net, but he's sitting past the halfway mark of the season with 5 goals, so I'll gladly take normal levels of offensive dysfunctionality as long as he looks like he cares.

4. Those of you that read Top Shelf and The Willful Caboose (which should be all of you, if you know what's good for you) already know that I spent Saturday's game with the lovely and talented queens of the Sabres blogosphere, Heather and Katebits. That's right, I have star power. If you want to know how you too can lure famous bloggers to your house, apparently the perfect bait is a combination of HDTV, various kinds of wings, and, in Heather's case, an Andy Van Slyke baseball card.

Aside from the HD feed acting up, it was pretty much the perfect game to spend with people you've been in touch with for over a year, have a lot to talk about with, but have never met. As Kate said before she left, it's been a long time since the Sabres have had a game that they've just straight-up won, without much drama or fanfare, and that sets the perfect background for a "getting to know you" type situation. Not interesting or boring enough to be a real distraction, and a pleasant result for everyone, especially since I still have a healthy hate for Carolina.

The HD problems were kind of maddening, though. Since I'll be spending the rest of the season trying to stream the games online, this was going to be the last game I'd see that was even vaguely in focus, and I wanted it to be the best. Instead we got to hear the same obnoxious guitar riff over and over again most of the time, and when we finally did get RJ, the audio was a second or two ahead of the video, so that we already knew the outcome of every shot, sometimes even before the shooter had the puck. Which was very comforting when the Hurricanes were shooting and we already knew it was going high and wide, but it was kind of a downer to know that Kotalik's slapper wasn't going into the net like we hoped. It was definitely frustrating, but also kind of surreal and hilarious, and the high-five celebration of Connolly's second goal was tinged with me giggling about watching that move set to the soundtrack of what sounded like someone diligently practicing Guitar Hero.

In any case, it was definitely a blast to have Kate and Heather over to my house, and I know my parents and I all enjoyed it. I think the Sabres did as well, to be honest. The first few minutes of the game were a little hairy, and we all got ready to brace ourselves for an oncoming disaster, but as soon as we got really settled--I needed to put my jersey on, and Kate had to use the bathroom--they scored and never looked back. Also, the second Heather started to pull out of my driveway just as the third was starting (she had to leave early to pick up her husband from the airport) the Canes scored and Tallinder got called for a penalty. Coincidence? I don't think so. Clearly the three of us present at one time is a force to be reckoned with. Clearly we need to do it again sometime, for the good of the team.

5. In all honesty, I didn't see the last game against the Panthers. Aside from the fact that I was somewhat out of sorts moving back out to school and busy reuniting with my friends after break, I just completely forgot that the game was even happening. And since it seems the routine text I got telling me the outcome and goal-scorers doesn't even come close to telling the whole story, I'm not even going to try to pretend like I know anything about what happened. Suffice to say, those were two points we needed, and I'm glad we got them.

I'm having problems with the internet right now, so it's looking like I won't be able to watch the game tonight in Tampa. In fact, it's looking like this post won't even make it online until after the game, but trust me when I say I wrote this beforehand: This isn't a team we need to beat to keep our place in the standings, not like Florida, but I believe it's a team we need to beat to keep our honor. Hopefully the boys keep that in mind. In the meantime, I'll be keeping my eye out for a text.

A Letter With Photographic Evidence

Dear Eric Staal,

I've said it before, but I'll say it again:

You look like serial killer. Seriously, get that scythe meat hook stick the hell away from my throat, before you get a face full of mace.

Stay back, I'm not kidding,
Gambler

P.S. Enjoy your new car, psychopath. Please drive it to the other Conference. Thanks.

Rocked You Like A Hurricane!

Wow. Just... wow.

Sabres, you really listened to me, huh? And you didn't just listen, you listened. I'm so HAPPY!!!

Maybe more on this win later. Right now it's time to go celebrate with some of my boyfriend's homemade jambalaya and a gin and tonic or two.*

WOOOOOOOOO!!!!

*Mom, forget you read that last part.

For Crying Out Loud!

Listen Sabres, I know you love me, but I'm not your babysitter. Sometimes (just sometimes) I have a life and I'm not going to be around to watch every minute of every game. I'm sorry, but last night was just one of those nights. As I'm sure you know, I had to leave after the first period, and word on the street is that's when things started falling apart for you. Apparently the last 40 minutes were a mess of lackadaisical passing plays and purposeless skating. Frankly, I'm not having a hard time picturing it, because it sounds somewhat familiar. I don't think I have to tell you how disappointed I am to hear that you were misbehaving while I was gone. I expected better from you. Keep that up and you'll go straight to your room without supper, misters! And don't you even try to put the blame on me for leaving you guys alone. I went to go see a very meaningful and important movie about Nazi Germany. Can you compete with that? Plus, if you saw the way my GPA is nosediving*, you'd understand just how vital that German extra credit was for me. Sometimes you just have to buck up and carry on. Without me. Be strong, I know you can do it.

*Not true, Mom. I promise. I'm just trying to make the Sabres feel extra bad.

Well, that keeps the losses I've seen through to the end at a whopping one on the season. On the fan hand, it's nice that the Sabres are saving their suckitude for times when I'm not around to see it, but on the blogger hand, it's sort of handcuffing me. It's hard to write about their successes when the only thing I have to compare it to is the hearsay of their failures. Also, far better (not to mention more regular) bloggers than I are already tackling the analysis. So all I'll say is that I'm willing to give them a pass for this loss. There were a whole mess of excuses at their disposal--fifth game in eight days, lots of defensive injuries, we haven't won against the Blues in ten years, not to mention they don't suck any more--and most other people are saying they don't buy those. But I don't know, maybe I'm just too soft on them. They better prove themselves to me against Carolina on Saturday, though. Luckily for them, I've cleared my schedule already.

A few of words about Carolina: I hate them. I really, really do.

Last night MSG put together a really nice piece on Jay McKee (the long-time Sabre playing his first game in Buffalo since becoming a Blue) that I caught during the first intermission right before I headed out. It was really sweet to hear him talk about how he is always and forever a Western New Yorker, but what really caught my attention was the discussion about the what-ifs regarding the ECF series against Carolina. All the memories just came flooding back full force. Of course, Jay missed what would have been his very last game in a Buffalo sweater because of some freak bacterial infection in his leg. And of course, the Sabres lost that game and the series. All summer long Buffalo agonized over what could have been: McKee would have soaked up that extra ice time. McKee would have protected that one-goal lead with his life. McKee sure wouldn't have just left that puck lying around near his foot for Brind'Amour to pounce on. And who knows? Maybe it really would have been different. But it wasn't, and that was hard to come to terms with.

Last night Jay said of that injury, that one day he was soaring with excitement about the team and the prospect of a championship, and then a few hours later he was crippled and confused and on the phone trying to work out what had happened. It was a complete and utterly debilitating turn around. And all I could think was, that's what the loss of that series was like for me. It was like a kick in the stomach (or, I guess in this case, the leg). One minute I was dreaming big dreams of Cups and parades, thinking finally, this is it. This is the year we finally win one. And the next minute I was cleaning up the rubble. Just like Buffalonians do at the end of every season. Except for me, it was just the first time. As much as hockey was always around in Buffalo, it was during that series that my true fandom was forged, and within two weeks of its birth it got its first real test. Sure, I hate the Stars and the Flyers and the Leafs, and I'll never forget what the Senators or the Slag-Faced Whores did to me this summer, but it was the Carolina Hurricanes who served this fan her first real heartbreak. And for that I'll never forgive them. So give 'em hell on Saturday, Sabres. Or else.

12 to Remember: Buffalo @ Carolina 10/4/06

So here we are, starting the season all over again as MSG has decided to show us Buffalo’s season opener against the Carolina Hurricanes. Even though I didn’t get to see this game, I was walking on air for a few days afterward knowing that we had rained on Carolina’s banner-raising parade. The wounds from the previous post-season were still, uh, quite fresh. Anyway, on to the show!

The broadcast begins by showing us this save from the regular season. Since the Sabres lost that game to the Bruins, it’s not a part of the 12 to Remember, but I’m glad they found a way to include it. It was truly one of the highlights of the year. Then, after a quick montage of celebrations by players and fans alike, Kevin Sylvester comes on and tells us something or other about what we’re about to watch. I’m not entirely sure what he’s saying here, because I am, as always, too focused on the marvels that are his perma-dimples. One day I’m going to figure out the secret behind those things.

First Period
20:00 Apparently one of the things I failed to listen to Kevin say was that this game was aired on Versus and thus it is not being called by Rick Jeanneret. I refuse to believe that MSG couldn’t manage to edit RJ’s radio broadcast over the Versus feed, and I plan on writing them a strongly worded letter.
19:45 15 seconds into the season, and already someone’s lost their stick. New record, I think.
16:36 Briere gets called for holding the stick. Oh no, do we really have to revisit the special teams? Can’t we just call this “Sabres 12 to Remember: Special Teams, that means not you”?
15:59 Derek Roy wipes out with no one near him. Clearly he’s trying to replace his reputation as a diver with the slightly less nefarious reputation of “that guy who falls down a lot.”
14:56 Doc reminds us that the Sabres were in the top of the league with both the PP and the PK last season. That salt, she stings in my wounds, Doc. Still, that was a nice kill, there.
12:01 Cole hits the post on a fast break, and the fans are halfway though their celebration before they realize he didn’t score. Suckers.
10:51 After a stoppage of play we get an awkward cut to eight seconds later (seriously, MSG, you couldn’t spare eight seconds?) But no matter because Pominville SCORES! A nice deflection off a Kalinin wrister from the blue line. It’s the Sabres' second shot of the night, and if I remember correctly, the first one was an easy pass-like shot from Roy just inside the blue line.
7:48 After Ward makes a stop on Drury, we learn he earns $3.00 towards some unspecified charity with every save he makes. Considering so far in the season he’s 2-for-3, I worry for the people depending on that money. I hope it’s not for something important like providing food or shelter.
-- Ed references Spacek as a potential difference-maker added in the off-season, and mentions a “bone-crunching” hit earlier in the game. My dad says: “Was that his one hit of the season?” Oh, it’s such fun watching these games with 20/20 hindsight!
5:18 Boooo, Eric Staal scores. Miller figures “What better time to start the tally of ‘ones I want back’ than in the season opener?”
4:53 Pentalty called. Versus should go to the box for using the camera farthest away from the play as possible on the replay, so we can’t see what the actual infraction was. Instead, it’s Gaustad for something-or-other.
3:20 Doc sums up two careers with one sentence: “Afinogenov with a crafty move, but the shot went wide, meanwhile Roy is knocked down.”
2:32 Spacek shows his true colors by fanning on a shot and giving Brind’Amour a short-handed chance. Luckily, Soupy is awesome, and Rod the Bod only gets a weak shot.
1:27 Numminen, with a strong defensive play, negates a possible breakaway by Cole coming out of the box.
0:00 Okay, Carolina, what gives? Stormy the Pig has to be the least relevant mascot in NHL history.

Second Period
18:13 Novotny is called for cross checking, which we don’t get to see because Doc and Ed are too busy talking about how Tallinder is going to the box for something else. I hate Versus.
17:32 Hecht makes a great shorthanded play, and almost scores even with a defender’s stick in his skates. Way to go, Yo-Yo!
17:27 This time we actually get to see why Gaustad went to the box. What we don’t see is what makes a Carolina player go with him. Versus sucks.
15:21 Max does his best figure skating and draws a penalty.
15:00 A beautiful play by Pominville and Vanek forces Ward to get lucky.
13:57 Hecht clearly retroactively hates being chosen as my favorite player, as he performs quite literally the worst turnover I’ve ever seen. And after the playoffs I consider myself somewhat of an expert.
12:57 Versus is incapable of showing us why anyone is going to the box! Commodore is called for “holding,” but from what we’re shown, it should be for “engaging in sissy-girl pushing with Hecht.”
10:06 I have given up hope of ever seeing any of these infractions. Kotalik gets called for something no one sees, because MSG insists on telling us that this game happened on October 4th with the aid of an unnecessarily HUGE banner on the bottom of the screen.
9:30 I love Hecht again! He and Drury put on some great short-handed pressure, but Jochen hits the post.
9:14 There’s another penalty called, but of course we’ll never see it. After Ed listens to the “unsportsmanlike conduct” call, he says “wow, on Adam Mair,” like this is somehow surprising.
8:24 After some nice 5-on-3 killing, Tallinder gets called for trying to take Staal’s face off. I can’t really blame him, there.
7:19 Cole scores. It probably would have happened much sooner if the ‘Canes could manage to hit the net.
5:31 Someone gets sandwiched between Numminen and Miller and flies face-first into the blue paint. Nice.
4:28 TIE GAME! All five Sabres touched the puck on the play, as Drury gets credit for deflecting it in with his pants. Dear Darcy Regier: Chris Drury is a god. The man can score goals with his PANTS!
3:26 Now, this is the Buffalo power play I remember: Carolina takes over possession and Briere takes a penalty.
2:14 A Carolina player, whose name I’m too lazy to look up, is stupid enough to trip over Numminen’s skate while coasting backwards, and the fans start whining for a call. Sorry, guys, but there’s no minor for “causing hilarity.”
1:11 Briere downright undresses an anonymous Carolina d-man and then sends the puck to the net. Too bad Roy figures goalie interference is as good as a goal, and doesn’t get his stick on it.
0:37 Doc takes Roy in the box as a cue to talk about the league-wide crack-down on diving. A gorgeous Soupy spin-o-rama goes unnoticed.

Third Period
After commercial, Kevin informs us we are now jumping to 8:44 left in the third. Sigh, MSG giveth, and MSG taketh away.
8:18 Goose gets a stick to the face, and a shiner he will have for literally the rest of the season. I always wondered where that came from.
7:09 Yet another awesome defensive move by Old Man Teppo as he negates a 2-1.
5:33 Justin Williams uses his mic’d up opportunity to sound like a petulant child as he yells at his players and the refs alike.
4:59 Ward grabs a puck Pominville whiffed royally on, and Doc calls it a good stop. Huh? I miss Rick.
3:30 Briere gets a great screen shot away but Ward snags it with his glove.
2:41 Whitney, in turn, gets a great turn-around shot, but Miller couldn’t look any cooler as it bounces off his chest and he grabs it out of midair.
1:05 Hecht grabs an Afinogenov pass from in between two Hurricanes with a neat stick move, pivots it into the crease and shoots it… directly at Ward’s logo. Oh well, Yo-Yo, you know you don’t have to score to earn my love!
0:08 Buffalo gets some amazing pressure in the last minute, so naturally they almost lose the game in the last ten seconds.

Overtime
5:00 There are some dramatic, pre-overtime close-ups of the players, and I take this moment to notice how everyone’s chinstraps are buckled. The general consensus: not very well. I feel only Hank Tallinder would survive the patent-pending Chris Neil Helmet Test.
4:11 Great breakway chance by Vanek. Even Ward knows he didn’t deserve that Conn Smythe as he looks behind him into the net like he’s sure it went in. Somehow it didn’t.
3:51 Numminen feels he’s mastered defense already, and decides to give offense a try as he skates a large circle around the net. No one can get it from him, but his shot goes wide.
2:06 Novotny picks himself up from a fall, only to whiff on the puck. Hope you’re having fun in Washington, Jiri!
0:13 Numminen makes a glorious pass to Briere in front of the net, which Danny deflects masterfully. Cam Ward looks like he has no idea where he is, but somehow manages to save it.

Shootout
Versus makes up for showing the loathed Hurricane Ice Girls by giving me an interview with my favorite backup: Marty Biron! Marty is in rare form tonight as he says he doesn’t want to give up “the tricks of the trade” about shootout goaltending, but it’s all about “getting your gap good,” and so Ryan must “get good gap.” Oh, Marty. You’re like that adorable little turtle from Finding Nemo. I don’t know what you’re saying, but you sure are cute!
1st Shot: Whitney shoots wide of the net.
2nd Shot: Briere dekes Ward out of his pads and roofs it over his head. He makes it look like adding insult to injury.
3rd Shot: Miller kicks away Staal’s attempt at a similar move.
4th Shot: A bench shot shows Gaustad is strangely angry when Vanek gets stoned by Ward on the stick side. For Thomas’ sake, I hope they don’t room together.
5th Shot: Well, that was anti-climactic. Miller makes an easy save when Cole shoots it right at his chest. But he also gets to make his first of ten consecutive celebrations, as the Sabres win this one 3-2 in a shootout.

The ever-be-dimpled Kevin reminds us that this first game was a sign of things to come, as the Sabres would go on to sweep the regular season series against the Hurricanes, and win ten games in shootouts. Coming up next week: The home opener against the Montreal Canadiens. I know how that one turns out, but I'm not going to ruin it for anyone.

Well, I have to say this was an interesting experiment. It took more viewings and a lot more time than I thought it would, but it was definitely fun. If there are no objections to these diaries appearing late (I'll take the silence and chirping crickets as a yes), I'm going to continue writing them. Until next time!