Welcome! ...?

Assuming there are actually people reading this, I know what you're thinking. Who in their right mind starts a hockey blog at the relative beginning of the off season? Well, frankly... someone not in their right mind. That's right, it's been over a week since the Anaheim Ducks skated the season to a close, and almost a month (really?) since Buffalo had anything to cheer about, and I'm close to losing it. I spent the bulk of this season out in Minnesota getting a wonderful liberal-arts education, but being cut off from most of quite possibly the most exciting season in my team's history. So, I finally come home for the summer and what do I get? An underachieving playoff performance from my guys in blue and gold, and an underwhelming Stanley Cup Final. The Hockey Gods, they tease me: giving me a few short weeks of hockey before tearing it all away once again. So, naturally, I went to the place one goes in situations of need: The Internets. I scoured hockey blog after hockey blog, facebook group after facebook group looking for any and every kind of (intellegent) hockey discourse to satisfy my cravings. And I did find satiation, in numerous nooks and crannys of the Internets, but then I found myself facing a new kind of dilemma: I had things to say about hockey, too. A lot of things. And I found myself saying those things, in blog comments, and on facebook walls and message boards, and at 2:00AM on the phone with my sports-apathetic (but loveable!) boyfriend. Basically any place where no one had any desire--and really no reason to desire--to hear my longwinded philosophies on hockey.

That brings me to the creation of Desperation Hockey. If nothing else, I hope this blog will save a lot of sanity. Mostly my own, but also that of the greater hockey blogosphere, the people on facebook, my boyfriend, and... hell, anyone who has ever had to listen to me talk about hockey for hours on end. Which is everyone I know.

So, what can you, my assumed (and probably imaginary) audience, expect to see in this space in the months to come? Well: lists, analysis, reactions, ramblings, rants and not a little intellectual theft, just to name a few. Need specifics? I didn't think so, but too bad:

1. A Look Back - I don't generally like dwelling on the past (especially as it pertains to Buffalo sports teams, because, yeesh... talk about downers), but I feel like I got so few opportunities to really enjoy this season while it was happening, that it's okay for me to devote some time and space to reminiscing. I'm thinking maybe I'll pick a game--or maybe even just a play--a week to pay tribute to with full, misty-eyed, rose-colored glasses nostalgia.

2. A Look Ahead - I'll be shaking the Toni-Lydman-Inspired Flesh-Colored Magic 8 Ball of Fortune (tm), to try to predict what will change (or probably, more accurately, what I really wish won't change) about the Sabres' roster in the coming months. I'll keep abreast of the hockey news--contracts and trades and free agents and the draft--and write about whatever strikes my fancy. But I should stress--a hockey news blog this ain't, so if you're looking for some place that will keep you up-to-date and well-informed, pack your cyber-mule and head for greener websites. (For my imaginary Sabres-fan audience: www.letsgosabres.com is excellent.)

3. Game Diaries for the "12 to Remember" - I'm really psyched that MSG is doing this, because a) as I said, I missed most of the season (especially the beginning) due to that pesky thing called higher education taking me out of state, and b) as a great lover of televisionwithoutpity.com, I've always wanted to try my hand at the whole clever recapping thing, and this is a perfect opportunity. These are games which aired months ago, so there's no pressure to get them up in any kind of timely fashion (having non-existent fans helps take the pressure off, too--just ask the Lightning, Hurricanes and Ducks. Zing!), and I already know the outcomes going in, so I don't have to worry about insignificant plays (like, say, the opponents scoring a goal) ruining my night. Of course, I've never done this before, so I may suck royally at it, in which case it will be scrapped.

4. 106 Reasons I Love Hockey - And this is where the intellectual theft part comes in. The wonderful Pookie and Schnookie, whose blog Interchangeable Parts deserves the most credit for inspiring this one (I'm sure they're proud), are compiling a list 118 long of the reasons they love hockey. The number is a tribute to the section in which they first owned season tickets, and in the spirit of unoriginal mimicry, I'm doing the same thing. (Good old section 106, row 14--directly behind the visitor's bench, and right next to Camelhair Coat Guy, maybe I'll do a Looking Back segment on you...) So if you finish reading my 106 reasons, dear imaginary audience, and find yourself saying "That was pretty good, but golly I wish there were just 12 more!" you know where to be heading. In fact, the Ookies will probably have a full 118 reasons more, as there isn't likely to be much crossover between the two lists (seeing as how they will manage to come up with clever and interesting things to write about, and after I've exhausted the 20 or so obvious reasons I've already come up with I will probably have to resort to listing "HSBC salted peanuts" or something equally lame as #21).

I think that's it, imaginary boys and imaginary girls alike! I'm looking forward to having a blast pretending that you're reading this!