Tuesday, April 8, 2008

It's Pretty Bleak

For a few wild moments there I thought about purchasing the ESPN 360 package to the playoffs (for about 50 Euro, or $75) just to get my dose of hockey in before what is sure to be an endless (even more endless than last year) off-season. I mean, it's playoff hockey, which is pretty much my favorite thing in the world, even if the Sabres aren't playing (sniff). But then I actually took a look at how the playoff picture turned out and decided... it's not for me. Being in Europe and being (albeit unwillingly) cut off from hockey for most of the season has saved me a lot of pain so far, so why stop now, when it's almost guaranteed that a team I hate will end up doing well? Why should I subject myself to that, let alone pay for the privilege? No, I decided it was a much better idea to just keep the playoffs in the periphery, satiate my thirst for hockey with boxscores and posts on other blogs. That doesn't mean I'll be observing without a rooting interest, though. Uninformed though I am, I still know which teams I want to win and (more importantly) which teams I want to lose. I'm stating it here for the record that I'm hitching my wagon to the New Jersey Devils' train. (That in itself should be enough to tell you how out of touch with this season I am.) On the one hand, everything I've read over at IPB this year has told me that there's no way in hell that the Devils are going to win it all. On the other hand, the last time I chose to back the Devils once the Sabres were out of the running was back in 2000, so maybe I'm just the good luck charm they need to win another Cup. Either way, the Devils have somehow become the team I like the most in the East, after the Sabres, (this may have much to do with the fact that I never actually watch them play) and that's good enough for me. So how do the rest of my allegiances play out? Let's take a look one match-up at a time.

(Note: As stated, I have paid almost zero attention to the rest of the league this season. Hell, I barely kept up with the Sabres. So none of this information is meant to be taken as a prediction. These are just my gut feelings about who I think should win, in order to bring justice to the universe.)

1. Montreal Canadiens vs. Boston Bruins
I don't think I saw a single game the Sabres played against the Bruins this year, and yet I am totally sick of them. They somehow bring a type of boredom to the game that transcends things like actually watching them play, and the thought of cheering for them almost literally puts me to sleep. That being said, almost everyone around me is totally sold on the Canadiens, and I'm not sure why. Maybe their awesomeness doesn't transcend things like actually watching them play, I don't know. In any case, I can't think of any logical reason not to cheer for them, so Go Habs! I guess.

2. Pittsburgh Penguins vs. Ottawa Senators
I have a brain, ergo, Go Pens! Okay, really, the Senators make me sick. This ocean between us hasn't done anything to lessen that effect. Maybe I'm just a sore loser because the Sens played a primary role in derailing the first team I ever really, truly, and passionately cared about, but I'm stating here for the record that I will never, ever root for them. I just don't have it in me. That aside, a speedy exit from the playoffs would be just the picture-perfect end to a season that began with every Ottawa fan and half the MSM wanting to just cut the crap and stamp their names on the Cup already. As this year's Superbowl taught me, Schadenfreude attracts my rooting interest like nothing else.

3. Washington Capitals vs. Philadelphia Flyers
The Caps are a problematic team for me. I was perfectly content to cast them aside without a thought while they were still a (mostly) cute nuisance, perennially on the outside looking in on the post-season, but then this year they became impossible to ignore. Ovechkin had a stellar year, which everyone insisted on not shutting up about, to the point where they became increasingly obsessed with the possibility of the Caps making the playoffs, starting in about October. And then when they actually did manage to squeak into 3rd place (How crazy is it that that's possible? The Southeast is such a pit of despair), forget about it. I can't exactly pin down what it is that I don't like about the Caps (I don't exactly hate Ovechkin, though I resent everyone telling me how ecstatic I should be about him making his playoff debut), but one thing is for sure: I liked it a lot better when it was a given that they would suck their way out of the top eight. *Sigh* Luckily for them, they're playing the Flyers in the first round, so I see no choice but to say Go Caps. But I do so begrudgingly. (Sorry, Marty. You know I still love you.)

4. New Jersey Devils vs. New York Rangers

'Nuff said.

I would say stay tuned for the Western Conference edition of Gambler's Random Thoughts on the Playoff Match-Ups, but the truth is I can't be bothered to care. It's not like I ever paid attention to the Western Conference when we actually shared the same continent, anyway. I'll pick a team once we get closer to the Cup, I guess.

10 comments:

Erin said...

Hey! Cute blog! I must know where you found that adorable picture of Sissy Spacek. I'm proud to tell you that he's my husband's favorite Sabre, probably because I'm Sissy's dopalganger. Maybe a 30 year old woman shouldn't want to look like Spacho, but I feel honored.

Keep up the good work.

Unknown said...

Dude.

New Jersey? Really? I wish you could live in NYC just for a day. And then you will understand the hell hole that is New Jersey. It so wants to be a part of the big city… but fails miserably. The same can be said about the Devils… they so wish they were like a big deal… fan wise, skill wise, hell even uniform color wise… (same colors as the Red Wings…. Coooommmmme on) And they just aren’t. Yeah they have Martin Brodeur, who I admit whole heartedly is one of the best goalies in the league. But when I really sit down and think about the games we played against them… nothing comes to mind.

Now just a few comments… on your….errr… comments.

1. I texted Dave this the night that I found out the Bruins were their opponents… GO HABS! And you are right on the money. Boston is boring. They are slow and have no star quality. And I have to be honest… I didn’t even watch the last game against Boston… partly because of this… and still crying every time I think about the sabers not playing. WAH no “Did you say cup?? BUUURRRRRUUUNG” commercials.

2. Now you know I am picking Pittsburgh to go all the way. And I feel like I need to explain myself. Ok…Ok… let’s get this out of the way… Sidney Crosby is smokin’ hot. But more than that… Winter Classic taught me something. Pittsburgh is a classy hockey town. They do not beat up women with their own purses win or lose… they don’t have goons or fake super stars celebrities (Ray Emery and Sean Avery I am talking to you… although Laraque is not to high on my favs list) And they have Conklin… who really broke out of his shell this year. But above all I agree with you… Ottawa will never have my vote. Ever. If hell froze over and Brind’Amour became the prettiest hockey player to EVER LIVE (sidenote: YAY that they slipped through the cracks… that made me happy… Staal and Whitney you little biznitches) One last thing about the Pens and then I will shut up… they have to do it this year. It is do or die for them. You know how many players enter free agency after this season… like 20. 20 god damn players. That management team will be squirming come July.

3. I hate Ovechkin. And not because of that whole Briere fiasco last year (although that is when my hatred began… what a punk) But I think he is over-rated and the only reason the Caps are there are because of him (and I know this sounds like an oxy-moron… over-rated AND carried the team) but think about it… if he was on any other team with TALENT he wouldn’t be the supposed superstar that he is. And that makes me hate him. But my pain is still too real to root for Philly… even though Biron is probably the coolest guy in all of the playoffs now. So I guess go caps… but lose in the 2nd round please… or 3rd if you are playing Ottawa. Kisses.

4. I hate the Rangers. I hate Ranger fans. Even little kid Ranger fans. The one thing I hate about NYC… the sports. All of their teams need to be super-star-showing-up-in-the-pages-of-US-weekly-hooking-up-with-models-and-partying-with-p.-diddy. And I hate that. Avery man… what a fucking waste of a hockey player. I wish I could have his job… playing mediocre hockey and getting goody bags from the Grammy’s. He is the punkiest punks of any Hockey Player in North America… NAY THE WORLD. So I am with you. Go Devils. Lose in the 2nd round… unless you play Ottawa or the Caps.

Sooo wow… novel sorry. Go Penguins… We will always have Ice Bowl. The greatest day two sisters could have ever shared.

(P.S. I secretly think the Sharks will win the whole thing… and I am secretly so excited for Brian Campbell because you know he still bleeds Blue and Gold… and when he holds that cup up you know he will imagine being in HSBC, with Buffalo Fans cheering his name, and Ryan Miller inappropriately grabbing is ass… errr….I mean…. <3)

Gambler said...

Erin, thanks for coming by! I really really love that picture of Spacek, but I can't really remember now where I found it. I still have the originally sized picture kicking around my Photobucket, though, so here that is. Enjoy!

Meghan, Meghan, Meghan. What am I going to do with you? As your younger and wiser sister, I think I have to tell you a few things. Firstly, lose this fake NYC superiority complex you have about New Jersey. You do realize that's exactly the kind of stuff people say about Buffalo, right? That it's a hell hole that wishes it were a big deal. Sure, the Devils don't have the same kind of fans we do, but what they lack there they've made up with 3 (count 'em) Cups since 1995. That's not nothing, my friend. Also, Marty Brodeur is incredibly underrated. Granted, the games we played against them this season were terribly frustrating, seeing as how all four went to a shootout, where we lost all but once, but I think that speaks to how well-matched the teams were. The only difference is they got their act together for more of the season, so they ended up making the playoffs. I think you just need to let go and let Devil. (It's not like they're actually going to win, anyway.)

1. The only thing I like about the Bruins (and I kind of hate to say this) is Chara. He's just so hilarious and tall! He's a BFG! That being said, they're going down. Montreal won't be stopped (or at least so I hear).

2. Sidney Crosby... kind of looks like a girl. But he is one hell of a hockey player and I love watching him, that is beyond doubt. But Pittsburgh is too much of a feel good story for me. You read how I feel about Schadenfreude. I would kind of love to see them stuck with 20 free agents and still no Cup. That being said I don't really have anything against them, and of COURSE I want them to take the Sens down. I'll probably end up backing them, too, once the Devils lose. Just right now I'm kind of refusing. Maybe I'll come around.

3. Ovechkin and I have a weird turbulent relationship. I'm not exactly sure what's going on there, but I certainly don't hate him. But I don't like him either. I kind of wish the Caps would just go away so I don't have to worry about it. But only after they beat the Flyers (and maybe the Sens).

4. If the Rangers win the Cup I'm just going to stay in Europe. I'm not going to come home and listen to everyone and their grandmother talking about Chris Effing Drury and his Little League World Series Title. I'll die. Plus, Jagr? Avery? Man I hate the Rangers.

Woo, Ice Bowl! That alone made this season worth it (well, and Yo-Yo getting to 20, of course)!

Now. Okay, Meghan, you really need to listen to me now because this is very important. Are you ready? Good. Ahem. You cannot/may not/will not root for Brian Campbell to win the Cup!!!!! What do you think you're doing? He left us! If he still "bled blue and gold," he would still be a Sabre, it's as simple as that. We were willing to keep him, just not for the (ridiculous) price he was asking. Talk about overrated. And now he's going on and on about how he wanted to stay in Buffalo? Hey Soupy, if you really wanted to stay you could have just taken the 4.5 million a year the Sabres offered you. That's not an insult. Ugh, shut up, Brian Campbell, and get out of my life. Not to mention all the howling and bellyaching that would go on in Buffalo if he ends up winning. It would be almost as bad as Drury. No, I will not stand for a Soupy Cup. (And it's such a shame because otherwise I would totally root for San Jose... They're one of the few teams in the West I actually like.)

Unknown said...

I just read that the love of my life (who doesn't step out onto the ice each and every night) Kevin Sylvester said:

"It's a good thing Boston and New Jersey aren't meeting in the first round, or that would be the ultimate snooze fest. "

And I couldn't agree more with him!

Eleanor said...

Gambler, first of all, I'm so sorry you've hitched your wagon to the Devils. They... suck. Heh. That said, thank you so much for defending the fine state of New Jersey! I've lived in NJ and I've lived in NYC; I'd love to take every person in the City who judges NJ based on what they've seen busing out to the IKEA in Elizabeth down to Central Jersey where you see really clearly why it's called "The Garden State".

I hope you're still having an awesome time in Europe!

Meghan, is that your Drury t-shirt? Is it a companion piece to the Roy-Z bedazzled shirt? If so, they're both brilliant.

Schnookie said...

Firstly, lose this fake NYC superiority complex you have about New Jersey. You do realize that's exactly the kind of stuff people say about Buffalo, right?

Thanks for defending my fair state, Gambler! I'll point out to Meghan, too, that if you venture past the NYC suburbs of North Jersey, you'll find an entire state brimming with residents who don't live in a perpetual haze of Manhattan envy. We're not a people who define ourselves by the big city next door, you know. :P

And really, the best you can do in criticizing the Devils colors is to gripe that they're the same as the Red Wings? Where is the black on the Red Wings unis, hm? Or, in olden days, the green? Yeah, BURN!

And Gambler, I have to say, I appreciate your jumping on the Devils bandwagon, as short a ride as it's going to be this Spring. If the Rangers do win the Cup, I'm coming across the Atlantic to go on the lam with you.

Heather B. said...

Brian Campbell may not win the Stanley Cup! He's a jackass who will not stop saying stupid things! He must be stopped and I hate him for ruining Joe Thornton and the Sharks for me!

I would be okay with Montreal or Pittsburgh in the East and for now, Detroit, Dallas, Calgary, or Minnesota in the West. I'm still feeling the West out though.

Unknown said...

To be fair... I think I should just point out...

I loathe all the tri-state teams.

And I am sorry I bad mouthed NJ... I recently had a bad experience with some guy wearing a Devils Jersey while we were waiting for 4am hot dogs. And I always get stuck in traffic in NJ on my way back to Brooklyn from Buffalo. And I am bitter about the Sabres. Still. So please forgive me, P & S.

But I am happy the Pens swept Ottawa!

My mom just called me and said Bulldog (from Radio 550) just said "Well... look at that Ottawa won just as many games in the 2008 playoffs as the Sabres did!" And I laughed. A lot!

Also Pookie - Both shirts were made the morning of that awful game between the Rangers and Sabres... (Feb 16th think??) where I had 3 empty beer cups (with straws... I will never get over that) at my feet at the end of the 1st period.

Also Schnookie- The sarcasm that dripped all over my keyboard when talking about uniform colors clouded my clear thinking. Mainly I was just focusing on the red and how pretty much dislike any team that has red as a main color:

Carolina
Ottawa
Rangers
Habs
Devils
Detroit


That is why I am so happy we are blue and gold again!!!

And I swear to god... if Sean Avery gets to lift that cup along with Jagr and all those other dbags (Chris Drury you ARE NOT EXEMPT!) I will have to move back to Buffalo.... no questions asked.

And I giggled when schnookie said "on the LAMB with you"

Gambler said...

Don't worry, Ookies, I've got your back! Sorry about the Devils, though. I feel like I singlehandedly brought them down by pledging my allegiance to them. Maybe I'm too heavy for the Devils bandwagon.

Meghan, it is indeed delicious how badly the Sens got swept. It really puts a smile on my face.

And I giggled when schnookie said "on the LAMB with you"

Heh. "You'd have the cops ALL OVER you!" Oh, I miss that show.

Anonymous said...

Hi Brooke! I came across your blog because I'm a diehard Sabres fan (albeit one that lives in Caps-city Washington DC), and well, I'm actually moving to Vienna, Austria this September. Though I've read your Semester Ablog (which I do love the title of, by the way!), I was wondering if you had any good tips for a 20-something moving to a German-speaking world... and of course, I'd love to hear more about your adventures trying to follow the Sabres from abroad! If you're willing to share some advice, please drop me a line at steph8127@hotmail.com. Hope to hear from you!