Euro 2008: Day 15

The Netherlands vs. Russia

1 - 3 (aet)

Whoa. Whoa! Russia! What are you on? Did you finally figure out soccer is basically just hockey on grass, or what? Color me impressed.

Yes, it's true I was rooting for the Netherlands coming into this game. Their Dutch charms really won me over. But somewhere along the way, probably after Russia scored first, my allegiances started to turn. At first I was just shocked, but then I started secretly hoping that they could actually pull it off. It seemed so impossible. For instance, as Hannah, Alice, and I were heading down to my dorm's common room to watch the second half (we opted for a more relaxed evening of football watching following the previous two nights) we placed bets as to what the score was. Hannah started off with 1-0 Holland, while I said 2-0 Holland. Alice: "Well, that only leaves me with 0-0 or 3-0." Hannah: "Or Russia could have scored." All: "Yeah, right." As it turned out, it was tied 0-0 at the half, but not for too much longer.

To the surprise of pretty much everyone in the world, Russia scored the first goal, 56 minutes into the game, on a blistering shot from Pavlyuchenko. When the Netherlands scored with 4 minutes left in the game, it seemed things were going back to following the script of normalcy, but then Russia dominated the overtime period, scoring two goals, and Holland never looked especially interested in making a comeback.

So, Russia, I guess I owe you an apology. Clearly I judged you too harshly based on that game you played against Spain in the group stages when it didn't really look like you knew what you were doing. Maybe you were just having an off day. Anyway, there's no argument that you've proven once and for all that you're a legit soccer team. Sorry for all the hockey jokes. That being said, you still kind of creep me out. Your players look like the stars of a 1975 educational film about puberty. (I know this tournament hasn't exactly been a showcase of attractive hair, but Russia's in particular looked like it just stepped out of a time machine. Sadly, photographic evidence of this is severely lacking.)

I'm pretty sure this kid gets carded while buying vodka. In Russia.
[Getty Images]

And this guy needs to do a better job of blending in his blush.
I could see it even with the camera a good 15 meters away.
[Getty Images]

But my expectations of this game weren't just based on the fact that Russia was crap (after all, after they beat Sweden I suspected they must have it somewhat together), but also on the fact that the Netherlands was so good. They completely dominated both teams that appeared in the WC finals two years ago, and seemed destined for great things. I think most people assumed this would be a pretty one-sided match. Their fans certainly seemed way into it, showing up in square-mile blocks of orange for all their games.

Bold.
[Getty Images]

So what happened? I think Russia might have some sort of Black Magick. Is Team Russia the Bruins of the the Euro Cup? I guess we'll have to see how the semifinal goes.