What a Difference a Season Makes

Yes, yes, I do realize that there is still actual hockey going on, but my access to the playoffs—due to my fickle internet connection and necessity for a somewhat stable sleep schedule—is becoming ever-more limited, so bear with me while I get a little prematurely nostalgic.

The other day I was cruising through some old posts, both on this blog and on some of my regular internet haunts, when something struck me: this Sabres season wasn't a total waste! Sure it was mostly frustratingly, heartbreakingly mediocre, and ultimately a disappointment, but that doesn’t mean it was completely worthless. You see, as much as we hockey fans are about devotion—to a sport, a team, a player—we’re also about changing our minds at a moment’s notice. We reserve the right to love a player one minute, and then think he’s a pile of puke the next, and vice versa. Sports fandom is as much about discovery as it is about dedication, and in a league where only one team can hoist the Cup in any given year it’s why the other 29 even bother playing the games. Maybe it’s just because I’m new at this whole hardcore fan thing, but I was stunned to find exactly how radically some of my opinions regarding certain players have changed, even over the course of this “worthless,” playoff-less season. Not to mention a season I only saw about a third of. So who are the major upgrades and downgrades in my affections? Let’s take a look:

#4 Nolan Pratt Pratters, I feel like we hardly know each other, and that saddens me. You came to a team already in progress, and I only had about two months’ worth of games with you before leaving the country. Toss in my indentured servantry to the Theater Department, and your frequent occupation of the pressbox keeping one or both of us from some games, and sometimes—I’m ashamed to admit it—I forget you even play for this team. Still, the general reaction to your play has been overwhelmingly positive, and you bring a much-needed tough defensive presence (not to mention the ability to grow facial hair) to this young and often irresponsible team, so I have no qualms about giving you a hearty thumbs-up! Let’s spend more time together next season, okay?
UPGRADE

#5 Toni Lydman *Nananananananana Nananananananana Lydman!* This time last year I had no idea what Toni Lydman was about. Now, I still don’t have any idea what Toni Lydman is about, but I do know that I like it. Sure, it was a tough season for him, hockey-wise, as he and Tallinder struggled to maintain the quality of play that makes them our number one defensive pairing, but he’s just so delightful! He’s a self-deprecating, mom-hair-wearing, shot-blocking, drumming MONSTER! What’s not to love? That said, he better relearn how to kick ass on defense by next year, or else we’re putting him back in the cage.
UPGRADE

#6 Jaroslav Spacek In terms of my fondness, Jaro is this season’s uncontested feel-good story. Last season I didn’t just want the Sabres to buy out his contract, I wanted them to abandon him in the dumpster behind HSBC Arena and leave him for dead. He and his $3 million contract were my very dictionary definition of worthless dead weight, by which all other worthless dead weights were measured. Well, to my surprise, he has not only risen from the ashes of my scorn, but he’s obliterated those ashes. There’s absolutely no soot on this guy anymore. It all started at the beginning of the season, when he started scoring on power play point shots, which are apparently his bread and butter. And then, even better, he started using the phrase “bread and butter” in his always-hilarious interviews. I sent him some apology cinnamon buns and that was the official death of my derision. As the season went on, he steadily became the more likeable and defenseman-like half of the Spacek/Campbell pairing, and by the time his January captaincy rolled around I was in full-on hockey love. Quite a miraculous turnaround for Spacho.
UPGRADE

#9 Derek Roy During last year’s playoffs, Roy-Z was the only player I loved to complain about more than Spacek. He wasn’t just worthless dead weight; he was actively detrimental dead weight. But, unlike with Spacek, I actually recognized that Roy was just a good player going through a rough (okay, brutal) time. By the time his contract extension came through, I’d gotten enough bitching out of my system to admit that I was happy about it, and I was fully ready to continue my love-hate relationship with Derek for another six years. A lot of other people were way more down on the signing, however, and I distinctly remember Schopp and the Bulldog (back when I thought listening to WGR550 was a worthwhile pursuit) circulating the Buckyism that the Sabres, by not re-signing Drury and Briere, had forced themselves into criminally overpaying their young guys; they said the only way the contract would turn into a deal was if Roy suddenly turned into a point-per-game player, which they both derisively agreed was an improbability. Well. Here’s Roy-Z, sporting a team-leading 81 points in 78 games, and one of the best second-halves of a season in the NHL. Heh, what a punk.
UPGRADE

#10 Henrik Tallinder There’s no way around the fact that Hank struggled this year. With a group of forwards who, outside of Hecht and Pominville, had only a vague familiarity with the term “responsible play,” not to mention Soupy systematically dismantling the blueline, we needed Hank to be great for us. And he and Lydman just… weren’t. I’m not saying I’m mad at him, I’m just disappointed. But I’m sure he’ll make it up to me next year. Still, that shootout goal against Brodeur was amazing, and Mr. Tall Indians is still the sexiest of our sexy defensive defensemen (based on both his sexiness and his defensive ability), so it’s not like it was all bad.
EVEN

#12 Ales Kotalik Man, oh man, oh man. What am I going to do with you, Superfreak? You’re killing me! Is there any way we can just make you a designated shootout shooter? You’re like that kid in the Mighty Ducks whose only palatable hockey skill is his wicked hard shot, which has a 1 in 5 chance of hitting the net. Unfortunately, this is the real world, where “secret weapons” don’t exist, and no goaltender is going to jump out of the net to avoid getting hit by your shot. I’ve just about had it with you.
DOWNGRADE

#19 Tim Connolly You would think that after the non-season Timmy had last year, there’d be no place for him to go but up. But you’d be wrong. Maybe that’s mostly my fault, because after the co-captain exodus a lot of fans were looking to the return of a healthy Connolly to seamlessly pick up the slack, which was clearly a doomed endeavor. For a while it seemed to be working; his incredible hockey sense and patience with the puck, combined with his equal playability on the power play and penalty kill, had me going, “Briere who?” for a good portion of the beginning of the season. But then his groin started hurting, and then his oblique started hurting, and then his head started hurting, and then he fell down the stairs and shattered his skeleton into a million pieces like Samuel L. Jackson in Unbreakable, and then he got bone spurs, and then he… died? Seriously, has Darcy Regier discreetly flushed him down the toilet, hoping that we wouldn’t notice?
DOWNGRADE

#20 Danny Paille Pie-Yay is still a bit of a non-entity to me, since apparently I only got to see him during his cold streaks, but I did hear about his curious cycles of disappearing, being benched, and then going on a scoring tear. Rinse and repeat. Sounds a bit problematic, but hey, as long as it results in 19 goals and 35 points from a guy whose existence I kept forgetting last year, I’m not going to complain.
UPGRADE

#21 Drew Stafford You know it’s bad when even Connolly can be considered less of a disappointment than you. We fans weren’t fair to poor Staffy going into this season. The guy spent most of last season on the stretch of the 90 that runs between Buffalo and Rochester, and yet we were perfectly content to pin all of our hopes and dreams for the 2007-2008 Sabres on him. What can we say? We were hurting for a new Drury and Drew was out best bet. He never had a chance of pleasing us. Still, that’s no excuse for all but disappearing. The good news is, at least he has a future. While Timmy’s doomed to try to glue the remaining pieces of his skull back together and climb out of whatever sewer he’s been flushed to, Staffy can grow and learn and develop. He’s still young. And I’m confident he can turn it around. (It should also be noted that Staffy is way bad-ass-rockinger than Connolly will ever be. This much is beyond doubt.)
DOWNGRADE

#22 Adam Mair I spent all of last summer retroactively discovering the awesomeness that is Adam Mair. With every new thing I remembered or learned—he’s an effective, not to mention hot, fighter; he works hard every single shift; he’s devoted to staying in Buffalo; he hates animal cruelty—I loved him more and more. As a result, there was really no way for him to rise in my esteem any more. And, since it’s mainly his stoic dependability I appreciate, I wouldn't have it any other way.
EVEN

#26 Thomas Vanek Last season I was predisposed to like Vanek. He was born in Austria, where I knew I’d be headed within the year, and he played college hockey as a Golden Gopher at the University of Minnesota, right inside the very Twin Cities I’ve grown to love in my college days. Not to mention, he wasn’t a half-bad hockey player. Well, this season there was no “predisposed” about it. I unabashedly love this guy. My love should probably be tempered with more frustration with his play (or lack thereof), but it’s not. I know, I know, those who make the big bucks don’t get the luxury of excuses, especially not in Buffalo, but I don’t think anyone can accuse him of not trying hard enough, and that’s what matters most to me. As long as he’s not content to sit back under the shelter of his $52 million and let everyone else do the work, I think he’s going to be just fine. In any case, Vanek has found my soft spot, he’s moved in, he’s brought all his natural hat tricks, his one facial expression, and all the Weiner schnitzel you could want, and he’s not going anywhere.
UPGRADE

#27 Teppo Numminen He only played one game, and I didn’t see it, but I love him more and more every day regardless.
UPGRADE

#28 Paul Gaustad This was a big season for Goose. After his sophomore year was cut short (yeesh—no pun intended) by that grisly leg injury, he came in with something to prove. And, boy, did he ever. If there were any doubters, he’s now once-and-for-all secured his place as both Toughest Sabre—battling it out in front of the net and staying healthy for 82 games isn’t a walk in the park (to be fair, props to Vanek for the same), and Chris Neil isn’t going to just punch himself in the face—and Handsomest Sabre—I imagine those Green Team commercials were a welcome change from Veinsveinsveins and the Sweat Center, yes? A nomination for the Masterton Trophy and an invitation to the US World Championship Team came his way as a result of all his hard work. Perhaps more importantly, he’s now been officially canonized as Buffalo’s Working Class Hero. He’s like the new Chris Drury: this time with uncrossed eyes and a personality! What more could we want?
UPGRADE

#29 Jason Pominville If Spacek was this year’s greatest redemption, Pommerdoodle was its greatest revelation. It’s not like he suddenly became awesome, he just suddenly got to show how awesome he’s always been while most people were too busy paying attention to Briere. A year ago I didn’t much think about him, except as the puckbunnies’ darling and my mom’s age-inappropriate crush. Of course he was on my radar as a player who would need to step up and fill the Great Void left after July 1st, but I never expected a season like this. Pommerdoodle was the picture of work ethic and sportsmanship, rocking consistently, but quietly, all season long. He showed a vast amount of versatility, playing on both special teams units, and adapting his game to account for all those assists that departed with Briere. We narrowly missed seeing him showing off his skills as a defenseman when we had exhausted all of our call-up options near the end of the season, and when Lindy gave him the C in March, he proved he could rock fairly effortlessly at that, too. How long before he pulls on the goalie pads or gets a coaching job? I know I’m beginning to sound like a kindergarten teacher with all the praise, here, but such is the intense enthusiasm Pommers’ season inspired in me. He was simply an absolute joy to have on my team. A+!
UPGRADE

#30 Ryan Miller Poor, poor Crunchy. This time last year he was desperately trying to pile all of the Sabres onto his back and carry them single-handedly to the Finals. That was… heartbreaking, but awesome. This year he wasn’t quite so impressive, though it wasn’t all his fault. The general disaster area that was our defense for most of the year aside, our lack of a competent backup forced him into playing 76 games this year, and he’s no Marty Brodeur. Dude was down to mid-playoff weight a good two weeks before the end of the regular season! May I suggest we get a backup goalie we can confidently play before our number one guy completely disintegrates? Luckily for Crunchy, what he lost in hockey badassitude this season, he made up for in personality. Pre-season interviews saw Crunchy don his crankiest of cranky pants when talking about the ex-co-captains; mid-season he graced our TV screens in Amp commercials and Perry’s factory spots alike; he played the guitar and hosted a fashion show (sometimes both at once!); and now he’s writing a wonderfully charming playoff blog over at Maxim. Well played, indeed, Crunchy. If you can’t play like a superstar, at least distract us like a superstar.
UPGRADE

#35 Jocelyn Thibault Things started out so well for T-Bone and me. For starters, he’s a cutie. And he seemed to know what he was doing. Well. I’m not sure what happened there. But I miss Marty Biron even more now.
DOWNGRADE

#36 Patrick Kaleta Dude, I adore Patrick Kaleta. Not only do I have a soft spot for the hometown boys, but I also like to see an agitator who’s actually good at what he does. He’s compact, but he can hit, and it seems he might be developing some for-real hockey skills, too. Keep it up, kid!
UPGRADE

#37 Mike Ryan Well, at least he didn’t put it in his own net this year. I think that alone deserves an
UPGRADE

#38 Nathan Paetsch Last year I had a mostly inexplicable crush on Patches all season. It was born out of pity based on his sad draft history (originally drafted by the Caps in the second round in 2001, unsigned, and re-drafted by the Sabres in the seventh round in 2003), and tickled admiration based on anecdotes like Lindy strapping parachutes to his back, and Chara signing the dent in his helmet. Well, Patches, I’m cutting the apron strings. The time for cute/pathetic factoids getting you free passes to my affections has passed, and you’ve got to show me what you’re made of.
DOWNGRADE

#44 Andrej Sekera This time last year I didn't even know this kid’s name, but now it seems everyone’s talking about him. He’s another one of those players I didn’t really get a feel for, because I seem to have missed out on his best games, but if word on the street is true—that he got better and better the more games he played at the big show—then sign me up. Something tells me we’re going to need all the defensive help we can get.
UPGRADE

#45 Dmitri Kalinin It was another season of the same-old same-old for poor Tri. Everyone willfully looked the other way when he succeeded, and got out their best pointing fingers when he failed. As for me, I feel just as bad for him now as I did a year ago.
EVEN

#55 Jochen Hecht *Happy sigh* There’s only one player who brought me more delight this season than Pommerdoodle, and that was Yo-Yo. A little less than a year ago, I finally gave in and admitted what had been true for a long time: Jochen Hecht is indeed my favorite player. He rewarded my declaration with pretty much the best season I could have asked for. He put my fretting mind to rest in the early going, extending his contract by four years quickly and cleanly, and then, against all common sense, started playing better once his future Sabre-ness had been secured. He and Pommers worked together to help each other through the absence of Briere, and though Yo-Yo continued his impossibly endearing habit of aiming for posts and goalie’s chest protectors, he was also finding the back of the net. In the midst of this season’s dank doldrums of mediocrity, Yo-Yo’s steady march toward his first 20-goal season was the light at the end of the tunnel for me. His 20th goal, in that awesome comeback game against Tampa, was the uncontested highlight of my season. But I wasn’t the only one who was noticing. He wore a letter in every month of this season, including the C twice, once as voted on by the players. And then it comes out that he’d been secretly playing, without a word of complaint, with an injured wrist since January. Man. My love knows no bounds, what can I say? It may have been a pretty sucky season to be a Sabres fan, but it was an awesome season to be a Hecht fan.
UPGRADE, WHICH I DIDN’T EVEN THINK WAS POSSIBLE

#56 Steve Bernier Big Bear, I don’t know you, you don’t know me, but I like the cut of your jib. You may not have made a big impression on me this season, but you’re big, you’re young, and you’re hella cute. I think you have a future ahead of you. Plus, anyone who helped us get rid of Soupy is a friend of mine.
UPGRADE

#61 Maxim Afinogenov Oh, God. Max is both incredibly maddening and maddeningly incredible, and when he’s on he may just be the most entertaining player to watch in the entire NHL, but that doesn’t make it any easier to watch him when he’s off. Especially when he’s coming off of a season where he was more incredible than maddening and seemed to have everything figured out. I have to admit, half of me is hoping he can find the magic again, the other half wants him to make himself at home in that dumpster I reserved for Spacek last year.
DOWNGRADE

#76 Andrew Peters Poopers.
DOWNGRADE

Well, looked at in this light, the season doesn't seem so painful after all! 15 upgrades, a couple of them some pretty delightful epiphanies, and only 7 downgrades, not including the most violent downturn, which I don’t have to worry about anymore. (Please stay in the WC, Soupy!) See what I mean about the season not being a waste? Sometimes it's fun being a hockey fan, even when it's not.